eastcoastgal

Not the same

you're almost as good at avoiding the issue as he is ...

I'm not rearranging my life to avoid him. We both come here every year. Not the point

I keep thinking the apology will come. That he will turn sweet and see the pain he caused. The truth is, he is just a narcissist and I meant nothing to him

It's been a year. We live in different countries and there has been zero contact. Now he's my neighbour for the next 2 months!!!

So my ex and I are vacationing at the same spot we met years ago. The breakup was bad and he hurt me and betrayed me and has never apologized or accepted any responsibility. However, I apologized and took way too much of the blame on myself. Since then he's tried to shake my hand ... yes shake my hand .... and sent me a message on my birthday wishing me well. I'm sorry but without an apology I cannot accept this. Am I being childish? I did not want things to end the way they did but I see that he's completely incapable of having a functional relationship. I feel like these attempts to reconcile are completely self serving. He told me while we were in the relationship that he would be so happy for me if I found someone to make me happy. Who does that?!? Part of his psychological torture. I'll run into him at some point. I have told him to leave me alone, but I know he will not respect that. He will say that he's happy for me to everyone and I'll end up looking bitter and jilted. What do I do??

She is very inconsiderate and self absorbed. To freeze you out like that, she has no consideration for your feelings and it seems like she's too much of a coward to end it. It's making you sick and you are literally helpless. You have a right to know what's going on, you invested 2 years of your life with this person and she treats you like you are nothing... I think you deserve better. On the other hand ... if you say she has issues that she's dealing with and she needs space. Maybe it's private but she could tell you something... not the cold shoulder. If you're patient she may come around. But don't wait too long.

Brilliant! I'm going to try it!

well, you see, I think I'm ever so slightly above average good looks and I get zero attention but I am not the type to try and make eye contact or strike up a conversation. Maybe you can share some tips... the dating sites are a suckers game.

It's so hard to keep going. Dating at this age and time is brutal

I like this, thank you

I've done therapy. 6 years of "oh that must have been very difficult for you..." $200 please. No thanks

Trust me he is totally normal. ex military, retired, no other red flags. Photos were nice. Him in uniform, playing his guitar, etc. We had very nice chats prior to meeting, he seemed very courteous and kind. And he just blurted it out. Said he liked me and didn't want any secrets.

I fully believe this is not always true. Narcissists and sociopaths seek out people with positive energy, it's how they get their supply. And positive, good people seek out the opposite because they want to 'help' or 'save' them. Codependency. Like attracts like ... yeah. Opposites attracts... also true.

I kicked this guy to the curb. I definitely recognize BAD behaviour. I am probably hyper vigilant and over compensating and the good ones get away. It makes me sad.

You are very fortunate. I am a loving person that wants to do well in life.... really that's all I want.

How do I know what I should overlook and what I shouldn't? There's always something. An ex they are still in contact with, an off-colour comment, a suspicious text, a little white lie, gaps in a story... it's always something. It seems the higher my standards are, the more I level up ... the lower my chances are of anything working. This guy just told me that my standards were too high. (I actually took it as a compliment). I am kind and thoughtful and patient to a point and I am very positive day to day despite these experiences. You are very fortunate.

Well there is more to the story. I don't disagree, it is sick. He is divorced and single so the mother was not involved (although I wonder if she knows) He was in his room watching TV when she came barging in. I DON'T KNOW how far it went, he said kissing and his daughter was there immediately. The next day they left and went off to do their own thing....on his suggestion...and then she was not permitted back in their home. I do agree that not staying sober while the teens were drinking was dropping the ball, and frankly immature to get smashed with two teenage girls alone in a hotel. He has poor judgment and is not very bright over all. I don't believe he is predator and that's not me equivocating. It's messed up on so many levels.

Yes sure, blame it on me. It's impossible, it takes months, years to get to know what someone is really like...and even then you never REALLY know anyone.

I have...

Men are weak and helpless against temptation. Women are more calculating. Despite what the bible says ... 🙂

I think I do

Of course not

yes exactly

No idea, he brought it up