Sally100

I suppose I'm thinking that if he's gay then he's gay and there's nothing I can do to change that. However, if he's bi then there's a chance of working something out and I have the right to ask him not to persue that any further? Of course whether he actually would or not is a different matter. I edited my entry up there btw

Thank you all so much for your replies. It seems I have a lot of thinking to do. A good question posed by Brando though - what if he is bisexual? That is how he described himself on the website that I found. Something else I should mention is that I have tried to get him to talk about us starting a family in the past 6 months but he is not exactly positive. He just says "we will sometime" (He's 31, I'm 29). It makes me wonder maybe that is why he's gone off sex? Or maybe he doesn't want to start a family because he knows we have no future??

I desperately need some help and advice on this and can't talk to my friends or family for obvious reasons. When I had been dating X for a couple of years I began to suspect he might be gay but not admitting it to himself. I bought it up a few times but he always denied it. Three weeks after getting married, he admitted to me (because I found some photographs and a website) that he had been having liaisons with men. He told me it was a ages ago which I knew was a lie because the website entry was dated very recently - I didn't let on that I knew it was a lie though. He also told me that it was oral sex only and that it was just because he was curious. The photos I found were of him with a transvestite. I also once found an empty condom packet. We have now been married for 3 years and I have tried to put all of this to the back of my mind. The problem is that he is not interested in sex with me lately, we have sex about once a month and that is usually only because I have complained about it. A few months ago I found another empty condom packet. When I asked him about it he said he had used it to have a "posh wank". I am so confused I don't know what to do or what to believe. I'm afraid that if I discuss it with him he will just lie to me. He will also probably have sex with me just to keep me quiet.