Hi! I need help in deciphering my bestfriend's actions. We have been friends for 6 yrs now. We met during our late teen years and really had so much fun times together. We both had boyfriends almost at the same time and still maintain our closeness. I am still with my boyfriend and been with him now for 3 yrs. While her relationship lasted for 6 months and never had boyfriend since then, ( I think its like almost 2 years).
Well, It was early last year, that she started acting weird. Here are facts that started happening until as of recent.
1. First when I promised her that I would help her pay to buy a cellphone and that would be sorta a gift from me for her birthday and I can give her the money since I just started a new job. I told her that i could give her the money after two weeks. But every single day, she calls up and chats with me on the phone but never failing to mention about the cell agreement. Until I think she could wait no longer, and called me up and told me that if its okay if she could have the half agreed amount. and here I am nice as ever, just agreed and told her i would drop the $80 the next day. She asked me if its possible if I could make it $100. Again, I just agreed. But deep inside, I was kinda asking myself, what kind of a friend is this, isnt it supposed to be that she is the recieving a gift, that she supposed to be patient and less demanding?
2. I was patient about it and just decided to just let it go. But then, again I found out that she had been calling my bf even 6:00 AM in the morning. I know that three of us hangout often times and do go out and chill. Do you guys think that she just feels that she & him are close and thinks that she can do that. The reason that she called him is that she wanted to know the phone number of her friend that she had introduced to him & Me. But wouldnt that be weird that she doesnt have a phone number for her friend and instead bugs him if has it?
3. I find this quite insulting, because every single time that she would want to do something and plans to invite me and my BF, she would call him first & and then calls me. Isnt supposed to be the other way around because I AM her friend than him? (Reason i find this out is that my bf would phone me and ask if my bestfriend had already phoned me.) But in some occasions she would phone me up and I would say, that i would let my bf know, but then she would say, "Oh its okay, he already knows, coz i just called him". By then I would furious and a little suspiscious.
4. Last December, me & my BF are doing our Christmas shopping, and I was holding his cell. When all of a sudden it rang, and I saw my best friend's number and I answered. Instead of saying, Hi how are u to me. She sounded shocked that I answered it. "Oh Peachie, Its you, Can I talk to Roger?" that is all she said, I mean, I felt kinda like, what, she didn't even sound warm to me and didn't even said hi and all that. And the worst is that she immediately asked for Him. She called him to say, the he doenst need to drive her to the store, which by the way my BF didn't say yes (agreed to.) I found that odd that she is shocked that I answered.
5. And now, recently me & my bestfriend had been talking on the phone and she always mentions my BFs name. She said that don't you think the he would be sad since that you are leaving. And then, she said that she thinks it would be weird if she would hangout with him and my BFs friend while I'm gone. And she said that she even bet that HE(my BF) would not phone her, while I'm gone, just to say hi, coz she would be want to contact my BF since she likes my Bf's friend. I mean, now that im still here, he doesn't even phone her. She is the one that phones him up and all that.
6.And last, night. She wanted to hangout with me, so I relented since she was saying that I will be leavings soon. And then in our conversation, she mentions my Bfs name again, and said is he and his friend could be able to hangout and I said I don't really know coz my bf is tired and is currently resting. On the way to my house, she called up again and informed me that they are almost at my place and again asked if my BF is coming and I said he might, but not too sure, since he is tired and all. She was dismayed and asked why, I am almost at my wits but still patiently replied that as you know he worked the whole day, he is tired and is sleeping. She defensively said that since her brother is coming along, and we are all girls, we need someone for her brother to talk to.
I started to feel, that there is something between the lines, the way that she says things regarding my bf. I have this idea in the back of my head, but I cant just give it validity, I feel that I dont have to doubt her, coz after all we have been friends for 6 yrs now. But I still feel a little uneasy about this, and I would like someone's help on how to deal with my problem. Should I still be friends with her? I feel like I want to distant myself from her. Should I confront her? But knowiing her, she would make me sound like Im being paranoid and would say that " How could I possibly have this idea of her, and that I should know better to trust her coz she's my bestfriend." And I am also worrying more, since that I would be away for a month and the only problem with my BF is that he doenst know how to say NO to ppl. He is too nice. I worry that what if, she calls him up and asked to hangout or something. I alraedy told him about this, and advised him that if ever that happens learn to say no, and be firm.
I really need help. I want to resolve this. What do u think I should do??
Thank you very much!!!
