mae

hi, i have some stories of exes coming back - i am not a native english speaker, sorry first, my current situation and why i am even on this forum: i have been dumped last september by my first serious bf of 8 years ( the last 4 years were long distance and we saw each other about every other week or like every 2 months, i am 36 and he is 41) we were crazy about each other and he asked me to marry me at one point, but we agreed we´ll wait. i thought we would stay together forever. he kind of dumped me out of the blue - but on the other hand, we had the worst fights ever (about random silly things, especially the last time we saw each other before the break up) and our sex life lacked, i blame this on my frustration with being long distance. i often took him for granted and i was behaving so bad sometimes, i was angry and screaming, he said he can´t do it anymore 😞 i am sad he did that so suddenly without giving us another chance, he just left. we sometimes talk on the phone, the last two times he called to see how i am and when i called him a week ago he did not answer the phone or call back. i am heart broken and depressed and honestly i would not care just not waking up in the morning anymore 😞 still i have hope, because we were a very close and playful couple and basically planned out whole future together, we travelled whole europe by car and wanted a baby and a dog etc. i was not putting any effort into this relationshop anymore and when he asked if he should move in with me i said, i need like 2 more years to finish my masters degree. i feel i ***ed it up. although when he extra came from his parents place to break up with me i cried and begged and said please lets try, i could see he was trying to stay hard and stick with his decision. ( he lives about 4 hours away from me with his parents again, his dad is really ill, so he is helping them, he also lost his job because of corona, so he had a rough time for the last year) i am working on myself to become a better person and to not get angry so easily. it´s been 4 months since the break up and it gets worse! the longer he is away the worse it gets. i am crying a lot. and i really wish he could see that i am more than willing to change my behaviour and needed this wake up call. ( in the beginning of the relationshop he was quite mean, but changed completely because i said otherwise i would break up. and after 8 years i would think i would deserve a chance too) two stories of my past of guys that came back: i was crazy in love with a guy for years in my early twenties, and we would just hook up and i was hoping for more etc. after like 3 years i couldn´t take it anymore, i told him he is a *** for behaving like this, i cried and begged.. he said no no no. i don´t want. (he is now 40 and never had a serious relationship..) i moved away for university and grew ice cold towards him. no contact. never saw him again. he contacted me 4 years later with some questions about a city i have lived in. he was going there for an internship and the weird thing is, i had a holiday booked in this city, so we met up. it was like no time had passed and we hooked up, it was amazing. a couple of months he came back home and we had a nice fling for 6 months until he ghosted me. i cried again for a few months and he left for 1.5 years to asia. he started to write me every month with some funny videos, it was ok, i was over it. one day he was back home again and we met through mutual friends in a pub, and hooked up again. he told me he wanted to be with me, he had difficulties talking about it with me and he just did not understand why it was so complicated between us. i was super happy, but knew he will be away again for months, so we kept it easy. when he was back again, i wanted to become his gf but he was over it and we had a long talk and agreed to stay friends. so he basically came back twice: once after 4 years and once after 1.5 years second guy: i met him at a party when i was living abroad we did friends with benefits for like a year, i was madly in love he was not over his ex. he moved to another city and did ignore my message where i told him how i feel until months later he replied he is sorry. about three years later he started to write me on instagram and whatsapp he thinks about me he wants to visit me in my home town etc. i already was with the love of my life so i did not care. altough he now lives in china for work, he is still writing me weekly and sent me a gift box recently!! *** he wants to visit me etc etc... he seems like he is a bit obsessed with me. i wished so much for his love, you have no idea how love sick i was, and now i think he is annoying.... so yes, guys come back. and i just really hope my ex bf of 8 years and me have a strong enough foundation to find our way back together.