SilverCloud

hang in there guys and yes sometimes its better to not count the days...

you will get through... give your heart the time it needs to heal at the same time give it nourishment of doing new and exciting things.

After a great first date, how long does a guy usually wait before calling you if he likes you and wants to ask you out again?

I was called back the same night, actually minutes of getting home... and this was my first date ever lol... i dont know the strings but learning...

Now for us who have been dumped. I know its so easy to think your ex is with this great, perfect person. Keep in mind that they are human just like you and no one is perfect. You don't know whats going on behind closed doors. Chances are you ex would never tell you there is trouble in paradise, because they wouldn't want you to be secretly smiling on the inside, thinking "ah ha that's what you get"..

 

That's why I chose this for my signature: "We tend to think the grass is greener on the other side, when in all actuality if you would simply just water your own grass it will be just as green"

 

What do you think on this???

I was having my doubts today... but your post is exactly what i needed..

I do have to say even though i have accepted that my ex is not the one for me, i still feel hurt when i see him happy with the new person.. reason being that when he was with me he treated me like crap.. was on every dating site imaginable... never bothered to call me or anything and yet it was my fault when he was breaking up with me..

but now with this new person he has cleaned out all his online postings and that is hurtful cause he claimed that i was the one who broke his heart when i was the one completely devoted to him.

I would like him to realize the grass is greener on the otherside theory someday.

I know its not good to wish him that but it wasnt fair blaming me either.

I'm on day 1 all over again... I don't understand why it's so hard for me.. I'm getting upset with myself that it's hard to let go..

dont get upset with yourself... love is blind for a reason...

You have to find other things to put your mind on... make new friends, pick up new hobbies... its going to be very hard but put a achievement level for yourself... one achievement level can be that everytime you go back to square one you put a painful amount of cash in a jar or give to goodwill....

And post here or email friends when you get tempted to talk to him.

Thanks.. he said for me not to contact him for awhile in the other email he sented me. What would be a while? How long is a while?

 

 

'A while' is as long as he can get over you... but he already is...

 

Didyoumissme... this is becoming self inflicted pain... why dont you allow yourself to heal? You can do it and you deserve sooo much more... then why are you selling yourself short?

 

It doesnt matter if he said not to contact him for a while... in reality he would prefer not to be contacted.. let it go...

 

Sweetie... you win some and you loose some.. just like my sig... let it go and first learn to make yourself happy cause no one else can do that for you..

lol well it is bad enough for you to notice...

I usually count such bossy people in the negative people pile and try to ignore them altogether meaning try not be in a converation distance. And when they do finally get to talk to me i say 'yep you are soo right' and finish the conversation as soon as possible...

See if I feel that their advice is annoying then i need to avoid them and save my the health from the stress their conversation causes. People do not change most of the times and annoying people never change.

Just tell them you will keep there suggestions in mind and for the ones that repeat their advice over and over tell them 'Yeh i know you told me that last time'... Most of the time people dont realize they are repeating what they are saying... I do that quite often when i get excited about a topic but my friends make sure to tell me 'Yeh you told me that before'... I laugh and try to find a new subject.. I dont get offended when i am told that... dont know about your friends.

Just tell her what you wrote here.... nothing is a bigger turn off then a man who brags about how many women he has...

My ex was not a good match for me and yet I loved him against all odds. But when things ended the way they did.. I am left with the feeling that I would rather have never gotten involved with him cause now i cringe at the thought that i gave soo much to a person who was not deserving of it..

So in my feeling and for that relationship, i would rather not have loved at all.

As for him, sadly, he knows his faults but is not capable of change, cause he is sooo set in his ways now. SO i feel sorry for his next victim.. and she too will realize to late.

I think as a women its harder.. i could be wrong but we all know how a woman develops feelings for a man once she sleeps with him.. so its not entirely in her control when she has choosen to become intimate.

Thankyou.. I deleted all my accounts, email,messageboard contacts. I'm letting him go for good now

I'm actually getting my phone number changed too real soon!

How are you doing?

Very very proud of you. .. you are making you strong... there is nothing better then that..

I'm missing him and starting to feel sad again & there's no one around for me to talk to

 

Call your family and friends sweetie.. when times are hard you should look for people who will always support us....i am sure they will be happy to be you support at your time of need... other then that as always i am here for you too... take care stay strong

Hang in there... I have been through this and i can not emphasize enough that you will get through, cause you will.

Decide where you want to be in the next year or in the coming future... and then realize do you really want to be still at that point be hung over a person who is not good for you?

Today is Day 10 for me. Last night was rough and right now I'm having a tough time getting out of bed, but I will perservere.

Hang in there... there is light at the end of the tunnel, trust me i know and you are doing great

stay away from contacting your ex... that is the only answer.

Trust me down the lane you will know why i am giving this advice.

Didyoumissme? You are doing very good.. I am replying your PM right now.. Sorry for the delay

In my opinion, when people don't want to be accountable for their own life, and actions, they engage in the blame game. The blame game is one manifestation of denial.

Yeh but sometimes its soo believeable...can you guys explain more on what happens in a blame game?

I think thats what my last relationship was...blame game, but i feel that if i start believing that he was blaming me all the time then i am also blaming him in other words.

I know he used to name call and blame me for things i never did.

I would like to know since i am new to this and really do not wish to make same mistakes in the future. If i was wrong i want to fix it..

I couldnt have said it better...

after tomorrow, I'm starting No Contact. I gotta stop doing this to myself, it's tearing me up inside. The whole "birthday greeting" thing is getting to me. It's never ending. It's like I want to wish him a Happy Birthday to show I care & knowledge his special day.. But, I didn't want to just send an online message so I sented him a birthday card thro the mail too.

Please help

 

didyoumissme... we all have what i would call hope, but what use is that hope when it only brings us down?

 

I am as of today in the 6th month of no contact... my ex i would rather not talk about, reason being what happened has happened.. he hurt me bad, he treated me worse then garbage and i realize these things now cause at first i was blind. I honestly dont want to be with him ever again and feel sorry for him cause he refuses to see or fix things within him that he can fix or should fix for his own good.

 

In these past six months i have worked a lot on me.. I know me more.. I have increase respect for myself and have added some new talents to myself.

 

My ex taught me that loving someone does not mean you lose who you are, cause your love should complete you, not constantly break you in different ways. If you really need to fix someone to consider them perfect then they are not for you.

 

You caring for him will not stop cause thats how humans are designed. And i guarantee you that he also knows that you care for him, soo since he already knows i dont think you should try harder to show it.

 

A very good friend of mine told me in my time of need 'Live and let die'...I hope i quote him correctly J but you know what i mean. If you need to talk feel free to PM me. I am here for you.

So what are you gona say to her if you do get to see her for the last time cause saying 'goodbye' takes 10 seconds.

Deejay i have kept up with your struggles, i would not suggest you to email or meet. See even if you say lets have friendship, dont you think it will be awkward for her to constantly be polite to meet the last time.

Do what you think is best for you. But if you want to move on for your own good let this friendship go. If you guys were ment to be friend then you wouldnt have had a relationship and it will always be an awkward friendship. Let it be a friendship where she doesnt feel obligated to reply to you or see you for the last time every time.

I dont know, i just dont think its a good idea, but i had to tell you cause i would hate to see you get hurt again and again.

I think its more to do with the human nature. We desire what we cant have and also because the thing that got away has more value then the one you let go.

So in short i dont think that you miss your ex cause he was bad to you but because he got away. You miss what you cant have and you what him to want you because of that.

she is testing water with you. i wouldnt even bother replying her email. First of she is right she broke of with you, but then she keeps saying how terrible it was with you. Just let her go, she is not only driving the guy she is with crazy but also you. Keep your sanity..

I think you are concentration too much on finding a guy to be with. Is it because you are not comfortable with being with yourself? What helped me in hard times was to find myself, make friends, do different outdoor activities(these days people spend tomuch time in front of TV).

Just do different things even if you dont like them, cause trust me you will find something that you didnt like before and now you suddenly do.

Hope this helps...

i loved my ex to the extent where i would give up anything in the world for him. Although he was the first one to say he loved me, i feel when i told him i loved him, it was when i truly ment it. The reason i believe my love for him is soo, is because i knew all his faults in personality and all his bad actions towards me and still forgave him and never held it against him, even now i dont.

You are right people do say it without actually meaning it. But maybe its because they feel their infactuation is the love that they feel. I know for myself i am not gona believe anyone in the future when they say they love me, cause i just dont trust others feeling for me anymore... which is on its own a sad thing...

one lost soul has created another...

NO YOU CANT!!!

People change themselves based on experiences but others cant change them.

I agree with renaissancewoman101 100%

If you know for certain that things will not work out between you two then continue with the no contact.

Its gona be hard and its gona play tricks with your head, but you have to stay strong. When you get an urge to talk to him or contact him post over here and we all are here for you.