shoknrool

In order for me to heal, i have written her an email to suggest some sort of communication weekly. I feel that the not knowing what either one of us is up to leads to way too much speculation and further pain. MOreover, once we hit counseling, we can breath a little easier knowing we what we have been up to. However, if she choses not to communciate with me. It will be a sign that she is not ready at all for anything. This can be bad. I feel good about the email i crafted, took me a day and is only 3 paragraphs. Nothing mushy, just a way to take steps. If anything, I am trying to take care of myself and work out things with her one way or another. I need to move on.

For the record, i have not had an real contact with my wife since her cancellation of marriage therapy. Its been a month she bailed to live at her folks and we are not speaking. However, a few days ago i got a call from her doctor stating that she needs to reschedule her psychotherapy to get her meds. I took down his name and number. Moreover, I gathered her medical card, some of her mail and other letters and mailed it all to her. I went ahead and sent her a very simple email ( no sweet talk at all) stating that her doctor had called for a reschedule and that i was sending her mail in a package. The next day i received an email that was sweet. She called me by our pet name ( i am not going to repeat it) and lets just say its like calling me baby. Then she thanked me for sending the stuff to her and began to talk about how she had been sick and had to go to a docotr and pay money for the visit. Thereafter, she told me to be safe on my business trip and to have fun. I am sitting here at a loss? Why is she emailing me back with what she has been up to? Why bother telling me her medical dealings and why the hell is she calling me by our sweetheart pet names? Maybe im reading too into this.

She called me an said she cancelled the session becuase she was having a panic attack and had thrown up in the compnay bathroom stall. She began to cry and was very sorry. I wake up this morning and find she emptied one of our personal accounts for 5grand. Then, her Mom said she could use some time away and that she had been taken to the doctor this morning. The MD said: 1) You and her should be away from one another for a while 2) We are going to re-examine her drugs once again to see whats wrong. 3) She needs to heal up before she goes to counseling 4) She is having a breakdown and might need a therapy up north. Right now, i have no contact with her. I am leaning towards an ultimatum: divorce or marraige counseling.

The Lexapro did help for a while and now , lexapro affected or not, she has wigged out. She wont take my calls and on top of that is very distant. I speak to her parents on a daily basis who encourage her to work it out with me. But i think all is lost. We are going to counseling to work on our issues starting tonite. However her behaviour tells me she wwants out. She is going away on weekends and never checking in. She cant decide if she is a wife or sinly woman. 31 years old and she is hitting this point in her life. I am at my wits end. She has been gone for 15 days and we hardly talk. When we do speak she is hard and not loving at all. Alot of anger in her too. It feels like the end.

Hello, I need help. This is my first marriage and i am very scared it might end. I have been with my wife for over a decade ( 6years dating / 4 years married) and we have been madly in love for a long time. She has always been my pillar stone and we have always worked together at achieving what we do. However, things have changed. We decided that starting this summer we would try for kids. She is 31 and I am 34. Around Mother's Day, she went weird on me. She claimed that she was afraid of me and thought i would physically harm her. Moreover, she said that she felt that i belittled her and was critical over her cooking, weight, clothing, etc. Furthermore, she stated that she didn't think that I could not be a kind husband to her and our future child if I am not kind to myself. I mean all of these fears popped up and it was scary. The worst part of it is that she is on Lexapro ( a form of Prozac) and has bulimia. I am uncertain if she is simply flipping out due to the drugs or is really worried in our reality. Bulemia is a horrible disease and i have been with her through every part of it. Mind you, I have never touched my wife in an abusive way either. Moreover, I do get angry over the burnt toast, so to speak, once in a while, but i never call her bad things or ridicule her. She told me she loves me and that she wants to save our marriage. However, she needs her "space" ( stay with her parents/sister) for a little while to clear her head. Now about giving her her space, she told me she wants to get away to clear her head. She wants to be 100% sure that our marriage and finances can handle having a child. She wants to miss me again. She wants to miss our marriage again. Also, she has assured me there is not having an affair. She has grown numb to me becuase of my critical behaviour and wants things to get better between us. Ultimately, she wishes to save the marriage but she needs time to heal from all the verbal abuse I have given her. Anyhow, she left 12 days ago and said that she will see me again. She said she will be gone for a while and that she loves me. Thereafter, she called me twice to check in with me. Her having her space also means working out 5x a week, going out with girlfriends on the weeknds and trying to get as much attention as possible. Again, another sign of her disease lashing out? Through the course of the week she did come back and grab more clothes and ALL her jewelry. We hardly talk and her parents tell me to be patient. Her parents say give it a month and go to therapy so you guys can work things out. Guys, I am very hurt here. I love my wife and do not want a divorce. I am a product of a broken home and my father has remarried 4X. So you can say i have my issues. Truth is my wife has done alot to hurt me too, but i have always forgiven her. Moreover, i have never physically harmed her or verabally abused her. We have had 1 session so far and she was all angry and said her focus is on herself and not the marriage and nothing else. This was with my therapist. Which we both decided later that we should get a tough therapist to work things out between us ( someone we both do not know) Anyways, some thoughts or some sort of hope would be nice. This is the first time i have experienced something like this and need to know a few things. Is asking for space normal? Is getting to a divorce difficult? Am i overreacting? Is going to marriage counseling a good sign for hope? thanks for reading.