Amaranth22

Thanks itsallgrand! DN, when I say "ambitious" I mean a guy that wants something out of his life, a guy that's always striving for something better. I tend to go for the college-educated types that want to make a good life for themselves and aren't comfortable with, say, mooching off mom and dad for the rest of their lives.

I guess I should emphasize that while I tend to like guys with "western features" I am open to dating guys of any race. More than anything I want a guy with ambition and good values. I never said I have never been attracted to black men. I guess it's just a matter of what I'm around more--I have been raised around mostly white people. Most of my friends were white growing up, the majority of people at work are white. I don't see many black men around my age with ambition around here. At the same time, I would not choose a black man over a white man that I am equally attracted to just because it would be an "easier" life. I would go with who was better for me. Perhaps the problem is just men in general in this area where I live. Young attractive single ambitious men seem to be a rarity. When I find one (and yes, more often than not they are white) I want to grab onto him. But these men are never attracted to me. If race is not the issue, maybe there is a deeper issue that I cannot see.

Actually, this really irks me, when guys on online dating sites list every race except African American, but they include Hispanics. There are Hispanic women that are a lot darker than I am. I think these guys all watch the Spanish channels and see these European looking women with long legs and big chests and they think all Hispanic women look like this--not the case!

I've been thinking a lot about getting highlights lately. Maybe I should try brighter makeup too...

Well, my favorite stores are Express and NY and Co. I would say I do dress profesionally most of the time because I want to be perceived as such at work. I don't think I should have to wear mini skirts and low cut blouses to get the attention of the guys I like. And I think that would send out the wrong message, anyway. It's not like I wear baggy old lady clothing--I'm slim and I wear form-fitting shirts and pants. I do pray about it--that God would send me the right guy for me. I'm so tired of being rejected by these guys without good reason. I do straighten my hair, not in the attempt to "act white" but simply because it makes it easier to take care of. I am rather conservative. Years ago I was attracted to the "bad boys"--the ones that were cute but always chose the cute blonds over me. So, I decided to go for more conservative Christian guys, but I get the same response from these guys. They don't call me when I give them my number or laugh at the idea of dating me when I am putting my heart on the line. Maybe they are all too conservative to date a black girl. Maybe they are afraid of shocking their parents. I don't know what it is. My skin is so light that the majority of people think I am mixed or are not sure what my background is. Again, I was born this way, and I'm happy with that, but I think the world just stinks. Ideally, I would like to move to an area where the mixing of "races" is not so taboo. Around here I see plenty of black men with white women, but white men with black women is still a rarity. I could go on an on about this. I hate being lumped in a category when I am just as plesant and date-worthy as the more "western looking" girl standing beside me.

I have a lot more confidence that I used to around guys. I can hold a plesant conversation and smile.

I live in Ohio. I dress very well. I just got a cute new hair cut. I get compliments from old married men--men my own age just don't care. Actually I get the most attention from old black men.

This issue bothers me a lot. I am a black female, light brown skin, born in the states. I identify myself as an American above all else. I would date guys of any race, but admitedly more often find myself attracted to guys with "western features." What drives me batty is these guys with "western features" are just not attracted to me and I feel race is the key. I have seen so many guys on dating sites that include every race as desired except for African American. I do not fit the sterotypes but I imagine this is what these guys have in mind. I am a sweet girl, often called cute, but I can't get a date with one of these guys to save my life. Maybe I'm living in the wrong town. Maybe my state is not progressive enough, but it bothers me. Black females often seem to be the least desired "race." I am just venting. Feel free to comment. I'm so sad. I guess I'll just have to get used to being alone because I won't settle for a guy I'm not attracted to. Maybe I'm putting too much emphasis on the physical, but we can't pretend that the physical does not matter.

Yeah, I guess it's my own fault that I'm not in a relationship. I was starting to wonder if maybe a witch had cursed me at birth! It's hard to get over this shyness, though. I've been this way practically my whole life. I've never been one to initiate conversations so I guess that's something I should work on. Of course I tried that with that guy at my church and it hasn't gotten me anywhere. Also, there was this guy in high school that I really liked but I didn't get anywhere with that either. Maybe there are a few factors at play here, (1) I'm way to shy which appears to be a turn off for most guys, (2) I guess I'm choosing the wrong guys, (3) I need to get out more and expand my social circle. Easier said than done...

Heck, I've never even held hands with a guy. I've never even been on a date--not even in high school. I don't know what's wrong with me! I don't have any glaring physical defects. I don't think I'm ugly by any means. I guess I am kind of shy, or that's what everyone tells me. Whenever I like a guy it never turns into anything. Case in point. There's this guy at my church that I've had my eye on since the moment I met him. Now and then we would exchange short comments with each other. One day I found the courage within me to ask him to lunch, although I tripped all over my words. He told me he'd get back to me and never did so I never mentioned it again. Okay, so I've thought about him a lot and I've realized he's a hopeless case. Nowadays he talks to everyone else at church except me (every other girl...). He brings girls with him sometimes. What I want to know is how to find my dream guy if I'm soo shy. Am I doomed to a lonely existence? It's getting more difficult the older I get. I really want to be in a relationship. Any ideas? I'm on the verge of going crazy!!!