MetallicAguy

Well, not a lot of guys can read body language. I assume she thinks I'm one of those guys that are unaware of what goes down. Since I'm not, going up to her and saying "Sorry I'm not interested" or something along the lines of that makes me come accross as being cocky thinking she liked me in the first place. Even if she does like me -- which she does, since I'm not interested she can use that against me and say that I'm cocky and spread that word and ruin my game haha. Last year, I did just that and the girl told her friends she thought I was cocky, and yeah I basically explained how everything went. But since I'm at a new school that changed a lot of things so, .

Thanks for the advice. I don't believe I was making fun of her but if you think so...whatever, your entitled to your opinion. I don't think I'm going to tell her though, I'd rather not ruin my reputation over something like this.

No. I don't believe that you fall in love on sight, but I believe that you can look at someone and believe that you'll have a "future" like a year down the road with that person if you pursue, and it can build up to that. So I guess that counts? Wow, I feel stupid haha.

haha, that's confusing. I guess he expected your attention or something. I wouldn't worry about it. Just text him what I said back up there and that should get him up and moving .

Well if you had this happen to you a lot you'd probably feel frustrated as hell too.

 

Reading your post just makes me so angry, anyone that stands in the way of someone elses joy or well being is hostile in my book, I honestly feel you are being taken advantage because you're a nice guy and she doesnt think you might go nuclear but you have to stand up for yourself and sometimes that takes drastic action.

Thank you, I'm glad someone else feels the way I do, except I'm not gonna take drastic action. Asking the other girl out soon should be enough to discourage her from pursuing still.

 

 

Whatever you do, MetallicaGuy, DO NOT make eye contact with her. Some (but not all) younger girls mistakenly take eye contact as a signal that you're interested. I had a friend in high school who was obsessed with this guy who clearly wasn't into her. She was coming to me sometimes, saying "He LOOKED at me in English class!" Like that was a sign or something! It wasn't, and though it wasn't obvious to HER, it was obvious to me that he wasn't into her.

 

SO NO EYE CONTACT.

Thanks, yeah I don't normally look at her, sometimes I have though, when someone's obsessed with you, your subconsciously inclined to pay more attention to them.

 

To stopit: it is sort of invasive, she will sometimes kick me in math if I'm not paying attention to her and say sorry...and its not like its a random accident, it happens more than seldom. I don't know about you but that's kind of harassing just because my attention isn't on her doesn't mean she has to kick my foot. And then pushing into me with her whole abdomen area was just invasive as hell. And it wasn't a brush, -- it was a plow, and I'm big on personal space so yeah.

 

Anyway, responding ruthlessly would be detrimental to the girl in question as well as to the OP's reputation.

I realized it would be bad towards my rep, so I'm not gonna tell her that I'm not interested. I'm probably just gonna ask that other girl out and hopefully she'll get the message.

 

Metallica,

I know you're young, but I really think you need to stop judging girls so harshly. Its not a huge crisis- she has a crush. You should take it as a compliment. Its not like she is going to hold a gun to your head and force you to go out with her. You like the other girl, and thats it. And like the previous poster said, later on in life you just might change your mind about girls who are nerds. So consider her feelings...

Consider her feelings? She is infatuated/obsessed with me for no reason at all. Since infatuation is not a serious matter at all, I don't think I need to consider how it feels to be in her shoes. You can say then I shouldn't make such a big deal of it but its sort of frustrating when things like this happen all the time. I would imagine something like this to be similar to being an attractive girl a good amount of guys are interested in in high school for the sole purpose of physical beauty.

 

I also think your stereotyping me as an *** type of guy. I'm really not despite your belief. I'm actually a nice guy, I've just had it with these type of situations all the time. You have to understand where I'm coming from, I bet there's some other guy on this forum that knows what I'm talking about.

 

How is she standing in the way of the OP's joy or taking advantage of him

She's not standing in the way of my joy, she's just stressing the hell out of me because she's manipulating my emotions by being over-confident and not caring that I'm not interested and not accepting that, and continuing to pursue. She's just one of those people that can't accept losing, it explains it too by her grades, I'm not judging, she's used to getting straight A's and gifts from her parents that she brags about all the time, she needs to step out of her "no-defeat" thinking style and step back into reality.

Hmm, thanks for the insight, I appreciate it.

I guess I could, I'm not afraid to say it, I just don't wanna make her cry and then be known as the guy who did that, cuz everyone will talk about it. I have the feeling that'd happen...I don't know why maybe her obsession has something to do with it [shrugs].

Good advice/story. I'm not going to be mean to her, I'll just ask that other girl out, and hopefully she won't keep trying.

 

Good luck with your masters in bio too Jayar.

Sounds like a good plan.

 

Thanks for that link too.

 

good luck

Hmm...well I wouldn't worry about it. If she's interested in you and you think she is by your phone conversations and stuff then its fine. You really shouldn't take it as a big deal.

Well she could say yea, everythings great in NY, but i guess she didn't feel like it. who knows, i wouldn't take it as bad. and how do you know she responded to everyone else but you?

I used to have problems sleeping so I'd turn off the lights and listen to my ipod. Reading also makes me fall asleep too.

Eh, i wouldn't take that as bad. I'd look more at her body language and her actions with me when she gets back if I were you.

 

What'd you say to her though?

Only do something like that if you can tell she wants you too. I wouldn't trust a vibe too much, they're kind of a wild card/gamble. I suggest reading over sites that tell you stuff about body language. 93% of what happens in a conversation, or an interaction is non-verbal.

 

Here's something to start you off: link removed

Well its sort of pointless to just go to the movies and barely talk then go home. So no, its not.

Kiss her. I'm thinking she wouldn't mind at all.

Nah, I'm not gonna do that.

 

Any girls have a take on this?

yea, good choice there.

yea im getting to that point so hopefully she'll stop bugging the **** outta me.

 

It just that I've noticed she's a really aggressive person that is used to getting what she wants all the time, she's a nerd all she cares about is school like, for example she sits at my math table, and everyday she's always talking about hw, or a test or something having to do with school, like I know its really judgmental to say, but she seems as if she's lacking a life. Like I've never heard her ever talk about something outside of school she likes to do in her freetime. Anyway, I don't want to be mean to her though and tell her off. The part that pisses me off is I think she knows the answer, but doesn't care and thinks she can manipulate me into giving in to her come-hither signs.

 

Anyone else have any advice?

Do what you feel would be better. Personally though, I feel like a dinner and a movie's best. You get to talk a little bit before the movie but once the movie starts you kinda have to watch it. I think its better to have the dinner first, talk a lot, flirt, whatever. Then when the movie starts you can relax haha, you might be able to come closer physically, I don't know how well you two know each other though, so that'd depend on that.

So, this girl who has all my classes at school is really annoying. She always is staring at me, and since she watches me all the time, she noticed I've taken interest in another girl that is interested in me too. So, since I have all these classes with her I've ease-dropped on the sort of stuff this creepy chick asks the girl I'm into. She basically asked her what she does and what kind of music she's into, etc. So this girl is basically infatuated/obsessed with me and is extremely jealous over the fact that I'm not interested in her, and is interested in what type of girl I'm into. And besides all that, recently I was passing through the halls going to another class and one of this creepy chick's friends was walking in front of me (her friend wasn't too close to me so it doesn't seem too much like an accident) and she grabbed onto her backpack to get her attention and she "clumsily" tripped into me, like her boobs and flabby stomach were all thrown into my arm/side. Then she said oops and ran over next to her friend giggling.

 

I've tried nearly everything non-verbally possible to persuade this girl otherwise that I'm not interested. She can't get over the fact I'm not interested, its like she'll do anything in her power to draw interest from me, its really pathetic. To me, its like non-verbally telling me "I can't take no for an answer".

 

Everytime I flirt with the girl I like, she's all like depressed, then she acts even more cocky next time she sees me at school and tries even harder, hence the plowing into me thing that happened recently. This is very irritating, and it feels never-ending haha.

 

I really don't know what to do...

Smile at her,...if she looks down, or smiles back, or looks away to something else really quickly, or looks down and smiles, I think that's pretty good if it happens a lot.

 

If you get these signs frequently I suggest you chat her up, and btw don't rush it into going out right away. Talk to her, build some trust/comfortability with her, learn some stuff about each other (don't reveal too much about yourself), then ask her out if your still interested.

 

good luck

I can't go because of (insert a lame excuse here)".

There's no third answer, this answer is an indirect way of no. Women are not going to change for you and be straight-up with ya and say "No, i'll pass" or something like that. I think they say that because they don't wanna hurt your feelings.

 

If they flirt with you and give you signs that make you think they'd like to go out, then keep telling you that, that means they like your attention, and nothing more. When this happens just ignore these girls, there's nothing to become of them relationship-wise with ya.

 

Women are indirect, men are direct. Yeah, it sucks, well you gotta get over it.

Yeah, he sounds pretty emotionally unstable haha. Ignoring him's a good idea

I broke my shyness recently. How I beat it you wonder? Well I stepped out of my comfort zone, and did it. You just have to convince yourself that only good will come of it. So, if you are shy talking with girls or just anyone in general, then have a few chats with people and you should have some confidence/comfortability with stepping out of your comfort zone.

 

Though you'll get that same feeling to avoid those social situations again, it doesn't stop for a really long time I think. You just have to keep thinking that you'll do them and nothing will go wrong until the thoughts become very minimal.

 

good luck