Flanker888

Hi guys, long time reader first time poster in this thread. Now, I will home up my end of the bargain and share with you some stories I know of couples who broke up and returned lovers again. But afterwards I’d also like to offer some advice. - Couple 1: She broke up with him, he was a good guy and seemed like they had a great relationship but she seemed bored and he was perhaps too nice and safe as an option while she was in her mid twenties. She didn’t seem particularly happy though trying to be single (quite a neurotic girl) I think the break gave her the reset and perspective she needed to realise she had a great person. They got back together and are newly married. - My parents, my Mum was THE girl to a lot of men and my dad was your sorta intriguing but hopeless artist. My mum had many suitors and broke up with my Dad to travel and find herself when she was in her mid twenties. My poor Dad was heart broken and said he waited by the mailbox to see if she had written him! They were still in contact but she definitely was calling the shots. My mum dated a very successful man for a while who promised her everything but my mum came back to my broke Dad because she ultimately wanted a humbler, simpler life. They have been married for 30 years. My Dads still smitten. - My friend and his now wife were broken up for about 6 months. She left him because she was attracted to someone else and they had been dating for a serious part of their youth. He dated as well but was ultimately very upset about it all. After a while she realised that he was all that she wanted and needed and came pleading for his forgiveness. He took her back and they’ve got a lovely child together. The point is; it does happen but be careful about the concept called hope. It’s a tough one. Hope for the hearbroken is what we cling to when we have nothing left. The mental gymnastics some of us will do to convince ourselves that there is still a chance they’ll come knocking on that door or we’ll get that text one day is admirable in a way. It’s the optimist in us that can still seek forgiveness and love and still see the potential for good to come of extreme pain. So keep that going guys, keep reading the thread if it gets you through the day but be careful not to get too obsessed with other people’s stories of love lost and won again because the parallels are not parallels they are merely messages of good faith in the power of love for some. My message to the heartbroken as I have been there very recently is that remember your brain right now is like a drug addict, your whole being wants it’s comfort zone back and I assure like any addict going cold turkey you will eventually equalise. There will always be something you crave but eventually you won’t need it to function. Reading this is like using a nicotine patch, it gives you that slight hit to keep you going. But you wouldn’t use a patch forever. So, don’t force it but expect life to feel really ty for quite a long time and there’s no set time period. Don’t try and put a positive spin on trauma just accept it and if you can, laugh about how unfortunate you were because in a lot of ways it’s hilarious the hand you can be dealt. The most powerful tool we have is to let go of expectation when we mourn and the only way we do that is by letting go of the need to control the lives of others. Genuinely, I assure you, life will be good either way and it doesn’t take as long as you think it will. You may always feel pain but you can still feel pain and be happy eventually. So keep reading and keep exploring the advice on here, don’t get addicted to hope for one outcome just read and laugh and don’t force happiness because it’s travelling towards you, you just don’t know where it is.