Ayearon

I hope to one day have my own success story! Although you may all think I'm mad but unfortunately the heart wants what the heart wants. Me and my ex have children together. We were together 5 years. Anyways a year ago he left me completely out of the blue 4 months later I find out he left me for someone else. He lied about her when I asked if there was someone else, the only reason I found out about her was because I'd heard someone talking about me in Tesco (LOL) anyway 24 hours after confronting him she posted pictures of them all over social media. She left her partner too. They'd been together 10 years and were engaged. She upped him and left him the way my ex left me, same excuses. (I'm not happy, I need some space etc) she moved straight in with my ex. After having our son I started pushing him away, turns out I was suffering with postnatal depression that went undiagnosed for 2 years. Maybe I should of fessed up and admitted that I wasn't coping.. but I wanted to be super mum! I can totally understand why he left me I wasn't the easiest person to be with, but to wait till he'd met someone else. Totally wrong. Anyway over the course of the year, he's had very little contact, he hasn't see the children at all.. until now! I asked him time and time again to see the children but he wouldn't (long list of excuses) Anyway he's back in touch, seen the children twice (he's still with her) we've been talking about how things went wrong etc he's told me that he's never loved anyone as much as he loved me and he always wanted to spend his life with me he just couldn't handle the situation we were in anymore (yes it gives me hope) he's leading me to believe that he won't stay with her as he's saying things like he won't get married and have any more children (she has no children) but then saying they are fine together. I don't know if he's just saying what he thinks I want to hear.. but part of me has always believed that when his relationship hits the rocks then he'll be back to see the children. Apparently according to her ex (we've spoke) she's very resentful of children always had a dream of having someone's first baby, so she wouldn't be very welcoming of mine. Yes I know I shouldn't still be in love with a man who is capable of walking away from his children for a year and telling so many lies. But something inside me has always told me it's not over yet. Fingers crossed eh?! But if he wasn't meant for me then one day I'll move in and be happy.