mcuts

Hey. This is actually my first post here. I remember reading this thread over and over again, trying to cling on to what little hope I had left. I promised myself I'd come back and write my story if my ex returned someday. Which didn't happen. And I don't really care anymore but seeing how much hope and happiness it brought to people I decided to share a few of my and other people's stories. Also English isn't my first language so I apologize in advance. So... I've had 3 'actual' relationships in total and in all of them I was the dumper and always came back. Let's go. 1. I dated this guy for about 6 months in high school. He was completely in love with me and I just didn't feel it. I loved him - we were great friends prior to us dating - but I wasn't 'in love' with him. I broke up with him before graduation so I could have my fun in college. So fast forward 1,5 years. I had my fun and decided to try something a little more serious. I thought I was ready for a real relationship. So on Valentines Day I called my highschool ex to see what he was up to. We agreed to meet up that weekend and dated for another 3 months. We were in lc for those 1.5 years. 2. So I dated ex #2 for about 4-5 months. We were good together but I got a sense that he wasn't ready for a relationship. I liked him a lot but I wasn't getting what I wanted from a relationship. So I broke up with him. I didn't think we would ever date again. After a year of limited contact, I one day called him after hearing a song that reminded me of him. We met up, decided to get back together but decided we still weren't right for each other and broke up again a few weeks later. The end. Oh. He texted me again one year after the second break up to see what I was up to, we had a nice chat but that was it. 3. Oh boy. The third one was a mess. Okay, so this was the first man that I actually was in love with. We dated for about one and a half years. At first everything was perfect. I could not believe how lucky I was to find the love of my life at such young age. Boy were we happy. I know it was mutual. He was just as happy as I was. I could feel it. But a year into our relationship things started to change. He got super busy with work, had some difficult times and he was slowly but surely pulling away from me. I understood that relationships were bound to have ups and downs. It wasn't always rainbows and sunshine and I was okay with it. But as time went by his actions got a lot colder and his reactions a lot harsher. I was no longer happy. He claimed he was but I could see he wasn't either. After a few months of back and forth I decided to end things. I loved him with all my heart but we were making each other miserable. We broke up. Two days later I realized I made a mistake. I couldn't let go off the man I loved no matter what. We had to fight for us. I had to fight for us. I called him that night and told him the feelings I was having. We agreed to meet up a week later to exchange stuff and talk. So we met. I told him it was a mistake and begged and cried. He also cried. He said that week was the worst week of his life but he couldn't bare making me unhappy and said he needed time to become the man I wanted and deserved. Rejected and heartbroken I went to NC. After a month of crying and depression and anxiety I texted him again. We talked about us and the relationship and he said he had given up on us. That he didn't see a future with me. End of story numero 3. So... yes the third one wasn't a get back together story but it shows that dumpers can come crawling back, ready to make a change. I was so ready to fight for us but I guess it wasn't meant to be. And it's okay. That third event was like 2 months ago and I'm slowly recovering even started dating casually. Hang in there folks. It does get better.