Hi everyone,
I decided to join the forum to share my experience. It's very similar to everything I've read here, and I found comfort to know I'm not the only person this happened to.
I was with my boyfriend for over 6 years. Our relationship wasn't perfect, by any means, but we loved each other (at least, that's what I thought) and I supported him after both of his parents died within the space of a year. It was such a monumentally difficult time for him, and I tried to help him as best I could. After his father died, he leaned on me more than usual. He had troubles at work and panic attacks, and I was there for him. I was with him every day in the hospital while his mother was sick, held his hand and cried with his family while she died in front of us. I was very close with his mother, and she used to refer to me as her daughter.
Two months after his mother died (and although we were living in the same house) he withdrew from me completely. He stopped talking to me, sharing anything with me, stayed later at work and avoided me at weekends. I begged him many times to tell me what was going on, but he wouldn't. After weeks of this, I told him I was going to stay with a friend, and he broke up with me. A few weeks later, he told me it was because he no longer loved me, and that was that.
It's been a few weeks since then, and although it's felt like my life has been destroyed, I'm slowly piecing myself together again. It's all quite fresh still, but the only sense I can make of it is that I remind him too much of his old life.
I think it's quite common, after people experience the death of a loved one, to dramatically reevaluate your life and to have a renewed sense of what you want from it. For my ex, his revelation was that he no longer wanted to be in a relationship. I'm so sorry to everyone else who's experienced this. I think all we can do is pick ourselves up, not hide from the anger we feel, but try to let our partners go, with love.
