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About girltalkCA

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  1. Does anyone have any advice/techniques that they have used to help make a avoidant/anxious relationship work? I've been reading up on some people's experiences. The concept of the anxious person just wanting to "be seen" (perhaps similar to their childhood wound)really reasonated with me. So whether they initiate an argument (to be seen or ease their anxiety for connection...not that this is a healthy method) or just have the other person look into their eyes and acknowledge them. Is it unreasonable that I need a partner who is willing and wanting to practice these with me or should I try
  2. Does anyone have any advice on how to deal with anxious/abandonment issues? Since I was a child (I'm 47 now) I've had an anxious style of attachment and seem to continue involving myself with avoidant types. I feel like I continue to try and "learn" the same lesson over and over. How do I become more secure within myself and not be afraid to make hard decisions just because I'm afraid of being alone or not finding the right person?
  3. That's a very interesting question and one I've thought about recently. My last relationship I was with a deaf person and we went through some very volatile situations too....some were abusive (emotionally and physically). I did try to relate and understand her (as I feel like is common and normal in relationships) but even to this day, she remains a mystery to me in many ways. The difference is, in my current relationship, the status quo felt very solid, good and healthy until now. Whereas in my last relationship, it pretty much felt unhealthy in general. The bipolar is new to me and I have
  4. I just feel so confused and lost and need some insight and people t talk with who some experience/knowledge of this disorder. I'm feeling very sad and on the verge of hopeless
  5. Catfeeder, when you say your friend has "gone off the deep end" do you mean she's in a manic episode/depressive episode? How long do those last? This is my first time experiencing this with her or with anyone so I am just trying to understand. When we first met she was doing ECT but then stopped and hasn't been on any treatment for over a year. She does have a structured and healthy lifestyle and "aware" of her condition. I at first thought she could handle it naturally without meds. I can't just "walk away". I love her and have 2 years vested. Before all of this we were best friends
  6. She is not refusing to get treatment. She is in regular contact with her drs and trying to find a medication that works for her. She also is very sensitive to medications and most of them make her feel tired/zombie like....so that isn't good either. Are there any medications out there that don't make you feel like you are a zombie????
  7. Thank you for sharing your post and your story. I am heartbroken and really do not know what to do....do I try to salvage all the wonderful things we have and stay in it longer? Or do I cut my losses and move on...but with the feeling of never truly knowing if it could work out. Do you have any advice on what to do when she is having these "episodes"? Do i just step away and allow her to be?
  8. I have shared recently that I am trying to get out of the investment. That for my own reasons want to get out, but I also do not want to make an impulsive financial decision. It seems to trigger her situation with her last ex, who probably was being used and controlled/manipulated. She has never met my ex husband nor heard/seen anything with me making contact. I have very minimal contact with my ex, if any. She said from the very moment I told her I had the investment, that it was unsettling but since we were not very serious yet, I think it was overlooked. Now that we are getting closer, I th
  9. I'm a 47 year old lesbian dating a 44 year old who is bipolar 1 for almost 2 years now. When we first met, she told me she was doing ECT treatments to help, but after about 6-8 months in, she stopped doing the treatments because she was doing very well. She is also not on any antidepressants. We connect very well and overall, have a very good, healthy and solid relationship. She is very good about keeping a structured routine that helps her manage the bipolar. Lately, she has been going through some major changes and stresses. She quit her job, dealing with family issues (her brother is an
  10. I currently work as a Wine Buyer for the last 5 years and feeling burnt out/ not appreciated/ wanting a change...etc. I've delayed the job search for awhile because I am so used to the security of my job (the known vs. the unknown) and realize it takes a lot of work and effort to find a new position. I was able to take a 2 month sabbatical leave which started in September and I have 1 more month left. I've been going heard with the job search, working my contacts, and landed a few interviews and even came to the final interviews with one position I really liked, but they ended up choosing
  11. I completely agree! I've experienced the other extreme and that doesn't work either. Balance is key.
  12. Thank you catfeeder. Your words are always very relatable and inspire me to work through things.
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