Ok, this is for all the expert love advice givers out there!!!
Basically, I have been in love with this guy for 2 years now, he was my ex(of 2 years ago!!)'s best mate and after he broke up with me, me and this guy started kinda seeing each other. Then things got a little weird and I didn't talk to him for a month. I then saw him at this club and found out he had a girlfriend now. I was so angry at him, but the guy is just so fine and charming, I told him I wanted to kiss him and he took me backstage .. we carried this on for the last year and a half, arguing and getting back together all the time he was with his girl and I had a couple of boyfriends, to be honest there hasn't been one boyfriend that I've had in the last 2 years that I haven't cheated on with this guy.
Anyways, we had a massive row in May of this year and hadn't spoken until my best friend got drunk and ended up going to this club and phoning his mobile to ask him if he could get us in (he co-owned it!) in November. He didn't answer and so we left. A couple of days later, I got a text to my phone from him, saying that he'd changed his number but he still turned on his old phone sometimes and had gotten my best mates message on his answer machine! Very embarrassing and had to apologise deeply! So we arranged to meet. I knew this was a bad idea, as one thing always led to another whenever we saw each other, cos the chemistry between us is so intense and amazing.
We had never gotten serious before. He was still with the same girlfriend and I had a man too, but for the first time ever, at this meeting, he opened up to me and told me how he felt about me. He told me that he'd always loved me, no matter what and just before he left, we kissed.
It was decieded that he would break up with his girl and I was to break up with my man and we were gonna make a proper go of it. We agreed soon after, in the first weeks of us being together that we were gonna be together forever and we were going to get married. He is my soul mate and even through all the shit that's happened now I still believe it.
So after a couple of weeks, we slept together for the first time. Yeah, I know what you're thinking, what not before?? But no. That was our first time and it was amazing and perfect.
Couple of weeks later, he stopped talking to me. Nothing. No calls, no texts no anything. Just complete cut off. Nto answering any of mine and so on ... So I eventually got hold of him after 2 weeks of being ignored and I know he was having problems at home and he used this as an excuse to break up with me.
I was so hurt and angry that I started dating his housemate, much (apparently) to his annoyance ... but anyways, I went round to his house 2 weekends ago and ended up sleeping with the guy again, he told me that he regreted breaking up with me and that he loved me and was just screwed up (in the meantime, I'd found out that he was part of a huge drug ring and took steroids - though he never had ever taken serious drugs .. ie the ones he sold) but it didn't seem to matter to me. I was so in love with him I didn't care what he did or what, I love him.
Got home and was banned from seeing him by my mother (I'm 18 but still live at home you see!), which was fine, cos I was still talking to him adn he insisted that he get me a new sim card so that he contacted me on that phone and not the one my mother was monitoring. Which he did.
So last Friday, had amazingly loving conversation with him, talked about me moving outta home after my a-levels and getting to see him again. However, after Friday nothing. iIt's the following Saturday today. That's a week. No contact or anything. Trust me when I tell you this is a short story of events, although it doesn't seem like one! But I'm not sure whether I can go through this again.
He's promised that in a couple of months he will go straight and everything will be cool, but now I'm doubting whether we will be together that long.
I have tried calling him and everything but he doens't seem to answer to me, although I know that his best friend speaks to him everyday. It's my birthday tomorrow, and I ahven't heard anything in relation to me possibly seeing him or anything and the following Monday it's our 2 year (since we first kissed) and I told him that I didn't care about my birthday (as long as I got a call!!) but I wanted to see him on that day, but I just don't know whtether I can do this anymore. It takes so much energy out of me to keep loving him and giving so much adn getting nothing in return, but I don't want to be with anyone else. The thought makes me feel sick because no-one else is him, and no one will ever compare to the way I feel about him. I know that he is "the one" for me, and he says that I am too, and that him not contacting me, I know, is just the way he is. But it doesn't work for me. I'm at my wits end and I don't know whether to keep with him, or just leave him, even if the advice is to leave him, I'm not sure whether I can.
I ahve never loved anyone like I do him, or feel as loved when I'm with him, it's without him that's the problem. What do i do??
If you've managed to get through all this mess then please give me soem advice! Trust me this is the short story so ....
But please!
