Sahin

Hi everyone, I have been following this topic for a while now. And as of last Monday, I decided to follow the plan outlined here. Don't know why I am responding, but currently I'm quite heart-wrenched and completely broken by the fact that me and my ex wife are no longer. Have been together for 11 years, of which almost 6 married and 2 kids of 2 an 4 years. When we started our relationship back in 2004 we Always had our quirrels, discussions etc. and over the 11 years that we have spent together there have been times when things were just great but we also had our bad moments. Nevertheless we alsways communicated and resolved issues, even though I have a temper in a verbal way when it comes to discussions. Well over the years I became more relax..we bought a house, got married, got kids....and we had some critical moments in our relation/marriage. Everything seemed fine until 5 months ago. Found out in not such a nice way that she was having contact with someone else. I confronted het with this and after that everything moved forward quite quickly. First month we slept at friends, couch, seperately etc. And after that month she moved to her father with the kids. Even though I was doing exactly all of the undignified things stated in this thread, I felt like this was my way of proving my love. I never give up easily. She pushed me away, NC a couple of weeks, had some fun time together..but the baseline is that I was keeping hope and I was fighting as hard as I could to convince her. At the same time in these 5 months she figured out that having a crush on someone who is married, also isn't going to work out (I assume that he made that clear to her). But then again, all the pleading, begging, crying etc didn't help me After 3 months the divorce process started, and we're currently in the middle of it. Monday she made me very clear that she doesn;t and will not reconcile...and that her decision is final In the past months I have been hearing all kinds of arguments for the break up. Not being involved with the family, working long days, my temper..each time a new argument has been thrown on the table by her. The final one I heard was that within our relationship everything was about me and she had to coop with that. Even though most of the issues are something that I have been actively working on, and which were addressable..the argument that everything is about me hurts most. Mainly because she meant the world to me and I showed my love in my own way. Always doing stuff in the house when she wanted changes in it, or showing my love by taking her on small holidays, dinners, etc. I do believe that she "created" these arguments to make her decision acceptable to the outside world... but it still hurts. All i wanted is to get her back in our live and have a loving an meaningful relationship with us and the kids... She does state that she sill loves me and cares a lot about me. I'm the father of her kids she says and we'll Always be in each others lifes, that I have my heart at the right place, that I'm a good person, etc.... Did I push her too much? Will she ever see back the positive sides of our relationship instead of all the negative things that happened mainly in the past 5 months? Will there be a turning point? Don't know.... What I do know is that I am following this guide for 3 days and it really hurts to cut her out of my life and think about myself for the upcoming period of time...I need to get myself back on the track, since investing all my energy and hopes in her made me very weak. All thumbs up and advise is more then welcome...it's hard to go down this road, when everything I wanted is reconciliation