Hi, reading these posts has been very painful in ways, yet helpful too. And yes, I felt like the only one going through this too.
My story- My fiance and I have been together for over two years, live together for most of that time. She and I got along wonderfully, both admitted we have never loved another so much. In november we had to leave the house we were renting and rent another. Since we have moved she has been depressed, saying she misses old house, doesnt like new one, difficulty with family - mom, step sisters, her teenage daughter etc., and the upcoming holidays. We got through the holidays ok with a few bumps, things were getting better, then one day in mid Febuary we were arguing about communication and she said "i think were done". I tried to talk about stuff and pushed too hard which made her mad and she let me know that she needed time and space. I finally honored her wishes and sought a counselor. The time and space worked and she liked that i was seeing a counselor to address my issues. By the end of March she was coming to me and saying she missed me and wanted to figure out how we get back together. We were taking it slow and building the friendship back and enjoying each others company. Well the first week of April her mom passed. She and mom were not close, and had some big issues. for four days she was grieving with me and talking about her trip (had to go to arizona to deal with everything as she was only kin). The night before she left she slept in our bed for the first time since the end of Feb. (shes been on couch-her choice as I said I would) As bad as moms passing was I thought it might bring us closer together. She was in AZ for a week and as the week went on her contact trailed off. Sunday when she came back I went to her her and she gave me a quick pat on the back and walked away. The next couple of days she would talk about everything she was going through (found out mom basically drank herself to death) but was also a little cold and distant. After she had been back for a week, and getting this advice from counselor, I brought up the topic of 'us' and she got really mad, yelled at me and called me selfish. She later texted me from work and apologized, said she feels im missing a golden opportunity to be supportive and selfless. I told her that I was sorry for bringing it up and want to be supportive of her, but said my actions were brought about by fear of losing her. She got even madder and said im still talking about myself and "i dont have to fear losing her, shes gone and shes not coming back". This is now end of April.
I'm sorry for the long post but am really worried. I am really trying to give her space now, and dont mean to sound unsympathetic, I cant imagine all shes going through and told her I am here for her and wont stress her out with talk of 'us'. We say hi and bye, we talk about work a little and some stuff about her mom. Our lease is up in Oct. and I am very worried she might want to move on. I dont know how or when to talk to her and how much space to give her as we do live together. Please, some advice, opinion or help would be very much appreciated.
