Hi I have just recently started reading this forum, and I think there is some great advice and really nice people here. Well I was hoping that you could help me with my dilemma.
My G/F recently broke up with me after a 5 year relationship. She cited the numerous differences in our personalities, lifestyle, just about everything that you could imagine. She told me that she wasn't in love with me anymore, but still loved me as a friend. She said that she would never forget about me, but the chapter in her life that includes me is over and that she needs to move on. She told me that I need to move on as well. Also there was talk about how she knows how much this hurts, because her previous relationship went for a little over 2 years, and the guy ended up breaking up with her. She told me to stay strong and that I would eventually get over this and her.
Now I am still madly in love with her. I know that we have had our problems, but what couple doesn't right? I still want to be together and I don't know what to do. I stupidly did the whole gift givng, begging, calling, stopping by thing for the first 2 weeks after the breakup, but to no avail. I happened upon this site and after reading some advice, decided to utilize the no contact rule. It has been 3 days now, and wow what a 3 days it has been. It seems like forever since we have talked, because in the 5 years we were seeing each other, the most we ever went for was probably 4 days.
Also there is an important point she brought up. She told me that she doesn't want to be tied down by a relationship right now and wants to see what the world has to offer her while she is still young. We started dating at an early age (19) and we are both almost 25 now. So I can understand where she is coming from, she has only been in long term relationships since she first started dating.
Another thing is the friends that she has started hanging out with for the past 1.5 years. She met these two girls from her then new job and started becoming friends with them. Now these two girls like to party all the time and don't really care about relationships and just go from one guy to the next. Do you think that her association with these girls have influenced her thinking process? I noticed that since she started this new job that she has been slowly changing the way she thinks and feels about this realtionship. I think that she feels trapped by this and wants to get out while she still can (?)
The hard part about this all is that I want to spend the rest of my life with her and raise a family together. I know that she is the one for me, and yet she has professed the same, but the past year there have been slow changes to her personality. I attribute it to her friends, but also to the fact that her family is going thru a very hard time right now with health problems and their financial situation. Maybe she feels that I wasn't really there for her and wants to find someone who will be? She has told me before that she feels that I am too controlling and that I act her father sometimes. It is true that I have the tendency to put my foot down, which I know isn't a health thing for a realtionship to work, but I saw that she was beginning to throw away some things in her life that she strived so hard to work for (i.e. school). The only reason I did these things was to help her and us.
The thing that is also pretty crazy is that I found out that she has been going to these parties and getting pretty wasted, also spending the night at this guys house that she likes? I seems kinda messed up that she would something so quickly after breaking up with me, but I guess it must have started while we were going out, and could have helped make the situation between us even worse.
Now I ask, what is the best course of action to take? After reading the posts, I have decide to institute no contact because I guess she needs to see whats really out there waiting for her, and if the feelings that she has for me are worth staying for. I guess she will only know that for true if she sees someone else (?) I really want to be with her again and not a minute of my day passes by without me thinking about her and how I messed up the best thing that I had in my life. This breakup has really opened my eyes to the things that I did wrong with our relationship and what I need to do to make things better.
So I ask you guys for some advice in what I should do. Thanks a bunch
