ManyDissapoint

Day 34 following 6 weeks of degrading and dehumanizing low contact that only served to wound me deeper and deeper, due to her stringing me along. I have a million pointless questions that I know will never get answered. I am struggling but coming to terms with making my new future after she summarily blew up our old one. I have started a second job teaching to fill up some hours and be around children. I always wondered what it would be like to teach and I love it. The children calm my soul, for they are truly innocent. They remind me of the innocence that I recently lost despite being old enough to have known better. I loved her unconditionally. Our love story was forged in very difficult fires, but only the shallowest of waters extinguished her love, despite her most grandiose declarations of Disney love. I will be a better man. A better and better man. One way I will be a better man is that I will never toy with another person's heart as she did to mine for many years. I have learned so much about myself and what it takes to make a strong and lasting relationship. I believe I can protect myself in the future--without walls.