Typical story: my girlfriend and I met in graduate school and started dating 9 months ago (two days after 9/11). We had a very intense relationship: spent about every day together, many family events, went on a cruise together, traveled together, and we even had a pregnancy scare. I have been in relationships as long as three years, but something about this one had a much deeper bond.
However, we were not getting along that well over the past 6 weeks. She felt neglected, while I felt stressed with homework and finding a job - we both graduated in May. We talked about it, but obvioulsy it wasnt completely worked out. I realize that now. Although everything seemed to be OK - we still said we loved each other, spent more time together, we were intimate, affectionate, etc.
However, the week prior to graduation she went to a wedding without me. Dates weren't invited. She came back and I knew something was wrong - she can't tell a lie. After a little prying she confessed that she "hooked" up with some random guy because she was drunk. I, of course, flipped out, said some nasty things and told her to get out of my apartment.
For the next week we spoke a few times, but I was too angry with her to say anything nice. Obviously. However, after graduation I missed her and began to think maybe my neglect, my "taking her for granted" actually pushed her into the situation - I was not going to shift the blame, but I was willing to accept my own part and learn to forgive.
That is when she decides that she doesnt love me anymore and doesnt want to work it out. huh? A week ago she was devasted and upset by it, and wanted to work it out. THen she turned completely around. Before you jump to conclusion, she didnt leave me for the other guy at the wedding, I know that for a fact.
So, I feel not only dumped, but betrayed as well. Two big blows to the chest. But, I love her still very much and would take her back today, but I know many would say her cheating is enough to run the other way. I have erased all phone numbers in my cell and have refrained from calling her. I have also started the acceptance and greiving stage. But, can anyone tell me why someone would tell me they cheated on me and that they would never do it again, but then change on a dime, and feel nothing. Maybe I live in the past, but I always felt a serious relationship isnt worth throwing away over something that could make us stronger, especially since I was the one cheated on, but was willing to forgive.
Is it because she feels so guilty about what she had done, that breaking up with me almost justifies her actions. Or, is it because she didnt tell her family what really happened, (she focused on my flaws that I thought we were working on) - and that they basically reinforced her decision to follow through with the break-up?
Either way it sucks and I cant wait to be six months removed from this...
