Hi everyone. I am new to the site so I figured I would explain why I am here. Well, I was dumped. Dumped hard and brutally and I never saw it coming. I have been married to this woman since last October, and before then we had been living together for 7 years. I loved her very much, and I still do. I stuck with her through thick and thin. But she wants to see other people.
It all started when she started playing this online game. This game is mainly played by guys, and a woman on this game is like a mystery wrapped inside an enigma. Needless to say, she was getting lots of attention. At first I thought it was fun. I actually saw some of the guys sweet talking her through the game's chat system. I thought it was funny, but I came to find out later that she didn't. She thought it was incredible.
After a while, I noticed that she wasn't coming to bed. She would stay up late playing. I really thought this was cool, how often do you get a girl gamer? But then I started to worry. One night, I walked in and found she was typing a long email to one of the guys in the game. She immediately closed the window up before I could read what it said. She had a look on her face like I had just walked in with her sleeping with another guy. At that point, things went south.
I asked her what was up? She said she was unhappy with life in general, with her job, with her home life, and with us. She said the only time she was happy was when she was playing the game. This was a total shock to me. I never saw this coming. She said that there was no passion between us anymore, and she was unsure what she wanted. Then she dropped the bomb - she said she thought she wanted to see other people. And we just got married in October!
I wanted to work it out of course. I tried. But I caught her again and again chatting with these guys. Finally, I couldn't take it anymore. I left the house and moved in with my parents temporarily. Never heard from my wife though. When I would go over there to see her, she would always be typing merrily away with this guy in Europe, happy as can be. But when I would start a conversation with her, she acted like she was getting a root canal. She didn't want to talk about it. It was like she made up her mind that we were done.
This was a total shock to me, our family, our friends, everyone. How can a person just drop everything so quickly? She never told me that there was a problem. Of course, she acted grumpy sometimes - but show me a girl that doesn't? When she was grumpy, I asked what was wrong and it would always be something like "I hate work" or something other that us. Even her girlfriends were shocked - everyone thought we were perfect and so did I.
Well, we had a walk and talk the other night. She basically said that she needed to do some "soul searching" and see some new people. She said that she did miss me, but I can't help but wonder if she really does mean that because she was in a hurry to end the talk. She says that this French guy she is chatting with has everything - he is nice, romatic, bla bla on down the line. I know she has heard his voice, but I don't think she has even seen the guy.
Since then, I have been a busy bee trying to get property agreed on, bills and debts split up, you know - divorcing. I pretty much decided on divorce, because she keeps giving me the "I don't know what I want" line appended with "I think I want to see other people". She basically won't decide, meanwhile I am lying in our bed while she is online burning the midnight oil with Jean-Luke. Sigh.
The problem I think is that neither of us had much dating experience - especially her. I had one 5 year relationship before my wife, and she only had a very brief fling. Another problem is her self-esteem. She has it in her head that she is fat, and she is a little chunky. Actually, she used to be very heavy, but in the past 2 years she has shrunk down a lot and is looking good (which is both good and bad I think).
As far as experience though, how much experience do you really need before you know you have "the one"? Do I need to date five girls? Fifty? All my friends are saying "play the field". But I am having the toughest time finding anyone, plus I am still in love with my wife. I hate the singles scene and my attempts at online dating result in me having typing cramps and getting no replies.
So in a nutshell, my life has been turned upside down and I am venting with this post. I really don't know what to ask you people, but feel free to comment please.
