BrokenHearted8

Day 8 I had to start again after breaking NC (lasted 10 days). I'm feeling super down today. I can't resist the urge to call him anymore. But the fact that he hasn't called or initiated any type of contact is giving me some strength. I am already thinking about Valentine's day, how sad it's going to be to spend it with out him. I am so tempted to text him on Valentine's day. It's a celebration of love, and I do truly love him. But then I think that it's just a stupid overrated holiday. I am sticking to this NC period. But I am really hoping he'll reach out to me. He said that he's going to give me space so that I can get over him. It's ironic because he was the one asking for space, NOT me. Anyway, just documenting the way I feel right now. I feel sad, lonely, I'd give anything to have him in my arms again, to see him smile, and hear his stories and jokes. Gosh I miss him soooo much. I really hope this gets better with time.

Day 4 of NC (Broke up 5 weeks ago). I have tried the NC so many times and I fail after a few days. I miss him so much, and I just want to hug him again I don't know what to do, it's hard to live my life without him. I am still making excuses for him in my head. He said he needs time and space to work on himself because he's not happy with himself (and I believe him). But is that a valid excuse to leave someone you love and break their heart. He always replies to my texts (when I break the NC), but he never initiates. I feel that if I don't initiate contact, I'll lose him forever. Why do I care so much? it hurts to be in love with someone who doesn't want you, who doesn't care about you enough. Every time I talk to him, he's very polite. But pity is all I get from him. Oh well.. hopefully I will last longer this time. I will post here on Day 7. I am forcing myself to go out with friends, and be busy. But he's on my mind every single minute. Valentine's day is going to suck so much without him

this is day 1 of no contact since yesterday evening I've done NC for 10 days and failed miserably. I texted him and called him. He's always responds, but he said he doesn't want a relationship, he just wants to focus on himself and his career. I thought this was selfish. he didn't take my feelings in consideration, and I told him that. he was angry and hurt. Now I really have to move on. I know I lost him for good after my behavior after the breakup. i was emotional, needy and didn't give him the space he asked for. I always keep running back to him whenever things get tough. and he just wants to stay away from me. How can someone be so loving and into someone for so long and suddenly need space "to work on themselves"? this doesn't make any sense to me, and I guess I was trying to find some logical reasons for what's happening around me. I am lost, in great pain, I can't focus on my job (and will lose it soon if I don't get my act together). ugh, how do people go so long without contacting each other. He was in my life every single day for so long, now there is a huge gap in my life and I don't know how to fill it. But I'll try to be strong, I'll try to survive, I'll give him space, and give myself time to heal. I was going to meet him this Saturday because he was going to give me a ride (yes, I asked him for a favor). But then I texted him again and told him that I'll manage without his help. i told him that I will give him the space he requested. He didn't respond!!! that was the first time he doesn't respond. The silence is killing me. I don't know what to do. I feel shattered. If anyone at all is reading this, please give me some advice. I read dozens of articles. Blocked him on FB & skype, deleted his number, deleted all pictures, But he's there in my mind every single second of the day.

Broke contact after 10 days because I am leaving the country and wanted to see him one more time. I used the excuse of needing a ride somewhere to meet him. Then I realized how pathetic that was and texted him back saying that a friend will drive me. He told me to contact him if I change my mind. I told him that I respect his need for space from me and will try to honor it. He didn't even respond (and he always responds)... Anyway, Will start no contact again. This should be the start date. This time I won't do it to get him back and make him miss me, I will do it for my self. I hope I'll be strong enough to continue. I have to confess that I cheat sometimes and peak at his instagram and facebook, but hopefully I'll be more determined this time. I hope to get all the support I need here. Thanks