My friend is depressing and draining.

I've known this person for years. As one of the heads of a community that they were a part of - a sister to two of the other (very good-natured) heads in fact - I'd loosely known of them due to being in the general area. She was not a very fun person to be around. Generally disagreeable and sore.

For instance if I and the others played an online game they'd sometimes invite their sister along. She'd be the type that was audibly angry on mic every time she was beaten. Not unlikely screaming at us or at others in frustration and accusing us/them of hacking, cheating, or generally dishonorable methods of playing. Which is purely just sore losing in reality since she'd be readily capable of pulling of the same video game tactics she just yelled at others for in a previous round. In other cases they were passive-aggressive or whiny at best.

For the longest time I just kept my distance. I saw nothing about them that I wanted to be around.

At some point after I'd talked to her sisters about her they told me how their mother had verbally and physically abused her children. Literally beating them with a cat o nine tails on the regular. Beatings for things that had nothing to do with them or were not worthy of beatings. I couldn't help but feel sympathetic - which was compounded when they told me her general nature made pretty much everyone want to avoid her much the same as I did.

I've been trying to be there for this person and just give them a semblance of normal friendship. Something I've felt they simply lacked all of their life beforehand. I'm more patient than most and this came in handy with them. In only a few months I saw a noticeable difference from how she'd been before the point we'd become friends. She's still often whiny, passive aggressive, or grumpy but there are more and more points where she'd been relaxed and friendly - almost normal. Her reputation is still what it is with everyone she's known already - even my boyfriend wanders off when he hears she's going to be around - but she reaches out to new people.

It's been almost a year now and I feel she heavily relies on me personally being around. The idea that she offended me can bring her to tears. She's endlessly paranoid she'll do something to scare me away like the others. I've reassured her that I don't intend to drop her - and I mean that because I do care about her and want to see her better - but I can't deny to myself that she is becoming quite draining. Anytime I try to tell her she's doing something I don't like it potentially turns into a bigger ordeal than it rightly ought to. Even something as minor as not liking a mod she suggested use for a game called Stellaris (I said it was overpowered) brings out some level of depression which I find myself more-or-less sweet-talking her back into a positive mood.

I went into this knowing it was going to be draining. I'm by no means out of patience, but I think I need alternative opinions.