BigDaddyMessedUp

BETTERKARMA you are absolutely right. In a nut shell. As for STD's we've all been tested and we are fine. And Yes, we did have a healthy baby girl. My question is now, does anyone really feel that our relationship could ever be normal again? She says that she loved what we had more than anything. She used to put me on such a high pedastal. Doing anything I asked of her, and catering to my every need. Now I feel second to her feelings. She has been going out with the girls every weekend. Sometimes she doesn't come home. Sometimes she comes home late. She tells me that it helps to cheer her and take her mind off this mess at home. She promises that she will have sex with NO other man but I can't help but think thoughts. She also said that she doesn't feel like what she did was cheating after she found out about what I did, because I had broke the 'bond'. She never told me it was over, but she says now that after she found out, she was so hurt that she broke it off with me and went back to her ex, (the 40 year old) with intent to start a relationship back up with him. She did many things with him as if they were in a serious relationship such as cuddled, watched movies together, slept over in the same bed, AND had sex. Eventhough I know I started it, I feel like she has betrayed me more because I never actually had intercourse with the other girl. Though I would have and asked the other girl if she wanted to but she said no, and we didn't have a condom anyways. But I did however get off 3 times with her, which my girlfriend claims to be just as bad. And she said what makes it so upsetting to her is that I was flirting and making sexual coments everyday to this girl while my girlfriend was off on Maternity leave. She says that she feels so betrayed because I DID admit after the fact that I did not think about her, or the baby, or the reprocussions of my actions. She wants to know how I could come home everyday after these things would happen and look in her eyes and not feel guilty enough to break down and tell her the truth. I was afraid and scared that she would leave me though. Yet I still continued to flirt. I I've been to the counsellor twice and she has been once. I expect her to know if she wants this is work and if she wants us but she says she can't give me that answer without more counselling. She said she is confused as to why all this happened because she never expected this from me. It's so hard to not pressure her for the answer to, "Is this gonna work?", but I want to know the answer from her NOW. I'm afraid that in 2 or 3 months she is going to realize that I don't deserve her, and she will move on. Sometimes I want to just get up and leave cause I don't know if she truly wants this to work anymore. (I could never really leave, I just get so frustrated and end up threatening her with me leaving a lot.) Any help?? I love her so much, more than anything and I want this to work. I know I will NEVER do this to her again. Thanks everyone.

If you would not do it in front of your better half then it is cheating !!!!!

If you would not do it in front of your better half than it is cheating !!!!

This is long but you need to know all for it to work About 3 years ago i broke up with my girlfriend of 5 years it was not working. I was working a couple of weeks later i had sex with this girl at work 3 times right after i got out the realtionship she had herpies found this out after(but used protection)here is were it gets interesting. Then this hot amazing women walked in and was getting a job i had to have her she was the one. Now i found out that the girl i had sex with this was her friend and she got the job. so one thing leads to another i go out with(lets call her jane)a couple of times and i find out she is dating a 40 year old we are both 25 but she ends up liking me more and gives me a chance. We have sex for the first time CONDOM BREAKS!!!! ouch but i told her i will be here. She gets a little stressed and does not talk to me. So a week or two later i walk into work and say " i went out last night got pissed and went home with this hot blonde" (Now i never had sex with this girl she does not exist i did it to get her to call me wrong move i realize now) So after this i find out she mis carried and she goes back to the 40 year old for a week of sex. So i beg for here back we end up having sex again and we got pregnat again. no before this she had asked if i had sex with any other girl after my ex girlfriend and i lied to her and said "no" this baby was concieved about a year into it so she is pregnat at home and i end up messing around with the girl from work at work no sex but just as bad think bad thoughts it is not good this happened 3 times and then it had stopped but i still ahd flirted with this girl thru my girlfriends pregnacy. My girlfriend suppected something because i was acting weird i lied to her all this time then we had time with the babay thru out the hole pregancy and i was not very supportive and hate myself for this also my girlfriend has a 6 year old from her previous marriage not to the 40 year old.So know we are right up to date and i am an * * * * * * * for lying to her i know that she never went out because i asked her to always stay in with me.she found out 2 weeks ago because the girl that i cheated on told her everything and at first i lied but then told the truth. my girlfriend all the sudden is going out all the time and not coming home. you guessed it she cheated on me with the 40 year 3 times stayed at his house and lyed to me about it at first she now admits it and says that she is so angry and mad at me now we have just both started going to a councilor. but we both say we love each other and want each other and know one else she is still going out late to the bars and says her business is hers and for me not to worry about her and worry about my self. it kills me when she goes out and some times she might not come home. But we both want a future together don't forget i lied to her are hole realtionship and she is so mad at me she dosen't want anything to do with me one minute and she does the next.She says if she did not want this to work i would not be here but she is amd and she cheated but does not feel bad because she says " i broke us when she found out that it was over i know i am scum and am working on not lying looking at other girls all that but she is so mad but i don't care i love her she also promised she would never have any sexual contact with anyone else because she wants us!!!! So What do ya thinkl