nicky6

at the green ink, sonjam, and so close to home- When all this was going on I recall fantasising about replacing her shampoo with hair remover!..... now if I could just get around the smell... Kidding! You are absolutely right, thank you for your kind words. I know you are right because that's exactly how I got over my cousin doing the same thing for a number of years ( without the absolute convction of SP ). I forgave her for being a complete idiot, and I developed a true pity for her. I moved on. Also, for many years my sister has used short skirts, lot's of posing and giggling and MY partners to boost her self esteem whenever it flagged. She visited at New Years. I am tact on legs, but when she stepped out of her car in a crotch length skirt, high heels, a low cut top and all the trimmings, I don't think I could hide my shock. The minute we were alone my bf said " I'm sorry babe but your sister looks like a prostitute ", and he was right. She then proceeded to 'flaunt and flirt' Now my sister has a very attractive personality and from the neck down, she's an absolute stunner. For the first time EVER I never felt a twinge of jealousy or insecurity.. I truly did feel sorry for her. In truth it was a great experience for me. I really feel I have grown to just smile inside when she struts around in little PJ's etc. I'm proud to say I don't get jealous often anymore and if I do I look for the underlying reason for feeling that way. Usually I have to admit there is an unrelated issue. When I discovered this it made me very ashamed and determined not to punish my beautiful bf ever again. My point; I do absolutely know my man adores me, there's no doubt. SP does not make me feel jealous or insecure. For two years I found it pathetic but slightly amusing. Now I NEED something... can't find the words for it. But it's akin to an emotional slap to her ugly little face. Did I mention they have 3 kids? ( that will grow up here in Smallsville in the wake of mummy and daddys sexual indiscretions... yuck and shame to them! ) IMPORTANT CORRECTION, I said she was "still" getting to me. That's wrong. I had well and truly gotten over all this, she hadn't even entered my mind for months til Christmas and then not again until I busted her driving down my street recently. But now I know I'm going to be seeing her more often because her gran is unable to come to me anymore, I have to go to her. I don't mind, she's a lovely lonely old lady... Once again here comes an opportunity for the ugly thnig to have another go. I wanna be ready for her, but I'd like a decisive victory and then never see it again. I know I'm stubborn and just plain wrong... but I'm determined she isn't going to put me down anymore, I'm going to do it to her!

Hi all, This is a long story, sorry. I have a 'situation' with another female that is driving me crazy, and I mean that honestly, previously it developed to the point where I thought I needed help. I was doing things ( and considering others ) that just aren't me. I wanted it to end, but I'm not willing to surrender. 4 years ago I moved to a small town with my 2 boys. Being a homebody and also working from home means I haven't met a lot of people, no really close friends, but I've been with my bf for 3 years now. I also met SP ( means sourpuss to me as it doesn't smile, only gloat. Feel free to make your own meaning ). I am not a petty person, but I've been driven to it. I'd tell you that she competes with me, but in her mind she's convinced I'm no competition. I found it all amusing for the first couple of years, but her absolute dismissal of me has become my white whale. Here's why; She and her partner are swingers. Not discrete or even together. They both pretty much pursue anything that moves. SP seems to have a penchant for spoken-for men, as she needs to prove she is the every guys fantasy girl in every way. And most of the time she actually believes it. In 3 and a half yrs she has never really quit chasing my man. When I met her she was flirting with my bf. Her man would sit there uncaring while she was so obvious, so I very naively thought it was just harmless flirting, if her bf didn't care it can't mean much. Little did I know... Should have been tipped off when he made it very clear he was available if I was interested ( behind her back ). I am a very naive person dammit! Only found out about the swinger thing about 6 months ago when she started to visit. She would come and sit here and try to get on to bf right in front of me. Previously, we'd see her occasionally down town or through my business ( her grandmothers a good client ). She looks me up and down and then gets a supreme little smile and proceeds to flirt shamelessly with my bf. SO interested in every little thing about his life, blah blah, " Come over for coffee " she'd smile at him, never looking at me, except for an up and down and a lame hello, unless I spoke and then looking 'tolerant' while she listened and then go back to my BF. Well then one day ( long story short ) business brought her to my house... she was in the door then wasn't she? She started to pop in for coffee, weekdays, bf's at work so that was OK. And if you recall I don't really have close friends here, only my family visit from afar, so it was really nice to have some female company. After a couple of weeks though it was really hammered home why I don't like her, prize conversation topics such as " All my bf's mates have told him they want me... ", " I went to a strip club for a bar job and they took one look at my face and my figure and said 'Girl, you should be dancing'", "I've only been 'out' once recently and in the first 10 minutes 3 guys had hit on me so I left", and other such thrillers. But there's some competitive stuff that's a tad disturbing. I mentioned my doctor, she doesn't go there but the next time we are talking she brings it up and ' name drops ' the receptionists like they are old friends.... what the? I admit to loving the internet, she says she's not pc savvy at all, yet next time we talk she's off to some mates place to send a few emails... please explain? I tell her my bf and I went out for a nice meal and a few drinks, we really enjoy it and each others company ( honest truth ). Few days later her bf has brought her a dozen roses and taken her to very classy restaurant. Apparently, he had tears in his eyes while begging her to never leave him. Petty and small I may be, but I popped in the next day and there was no roses... eh? * As all this rubbish is going on it starts to become very clear she is only visiting to give my bf the chance to jump her ( starts visiting mostly when he is home ) She has no tact, it is very very obvious. I ask around a bit... she has pursued 3 other guys we know personally, all long term involved or married and all with children. I know of 2 other woman who have given SP a touch up and physically thrown her out of the house. I even saw the black eye from one! Then my bf comes clean and tells me she tried with him before we got together, ( still with her bf she has now ). He told me he ran and I believe him for SO many reasons. Invented a reason for him to go to her place while her bf is out of town ( a removalist, how convenient ), when he gets there she sings out to come in from the bedroom where she's in her nightie, brushing her long blonde hair... Is that a bit obvious for someone in a long term relationship? I could give many more eg's of him and her but you get my drift. One and one make two. These people are nasty. Somehow I let all this plant seeds of doubt with my bf, I couldn't help think of how friendly he was with her before we found out what a thing she was. And here she is coming over, no doubt at all in her mind that my man would leap at the chance because she's infinitely more desirable than me. Already stating my naivety, I'm also a kind and generous person. Often it was only after she left I'd realise the nasty barbs in her convo. I always tend to think the best of people, I don't think I've ever tried to embarrass someone. Quite the opposite actually, I'm extremely empathetic, too sensitive my man reckons. I cry at the news without fail, after a good war movie my bf holds me while I cry, I'm a softie. Which is why I'm not up to the vicious verbal undercurrents. It's only after she leaves I realise what that supreme smile was punctuating, or what that look up and down meant. I was losing sleep and having my self esteem chipped away by this thing. Silly me should have told it where to go there and then, but I couldn't let it go, I guess I wanted to make her acknowledge that she was not the goddess of sex, and some man may still want me just because she is around.... Alright, I wanted to take her down a peg or two! If you recall, she likes to make up the odd lie, so I'd tell her something like my bf was telling his mates he's real proud of my business and how he thinks I'm clever ( the truth, we really are like that ) and you can see she is thinking I'm absolutely full of it, after all, he really wants her right? Don't all men? After about 2 weeks she started to realise it wasn't going to happen with my bf... so then the convo undercurrents and the sly smiles become an implication that I am jealous and possessive... Like if I'd just let him out of my clutches. By this time I was angry woman. She stopped visiting at all except just pop in quickly for this or that. Hoping to get my bf alone I think. During all the verbal sparring I'd made a sloppy attempt to rub in our income ( forgive me, I'm so small but I couldn't bring myself to brag about my looks, this was something I could pull off as I'm very proud of my hard-working man's earnings ), she latched on to this and was often 'on the bludge'. So when she borrowed money I waited 2 weeks before I 'vented', petty I know, but she doesn't come around anymore, and we are not speaking. Why didn't I say "I know what you're doing, go away (expletive, expletive)" Because remember those other 3 wives involved? Ask her about getting thrown out and she will tell you they were jealous, "and who could blame them" she says, with that supreme look. I wasn't giving her the satisfaction. No way. Never. To clear a few things up; 1. My bf is above reproach here, he's naturally very sweet and respectful to ALL women ( I'm very lucky ), which I guess is what encouraged her in the first place. But since we found out for sure what she was about, he's done nothing but run, run, run. He tells me he loves me in front of her and other such things. I trust him completely but there's still got to be a small part of him that finds her attractive, he's only human and how long can any man take it? 2. Which brings me to looks... I feel so petty writing about this, it leaves a bad taste in my mouth and not something I would ever brag about or even mention. HER- 27 yo. slim, rather short, she has a plain-to-ugly face ( tastes vary but in all honesty nobody would ever call her pretty ). She does have very long, perfectly straight blonde hair, a lovely tan in summer and a very good butt which she thinks makes her viagara on legs. ME- 34 yo soon ( although the oldest I've ever been picked for is 27 ). I occasionally still get to hug someone for asking for ID, or saying they thought I was in my early 20's until I mention my kids, I am probably well above average pretty, I'm very lucky to have lovely features; lips, eyes, nose. Thanks mum! With a bit of lippie, foundation and mascara I can still make mouths drop open, and strange men always have to say something if I'm not with bf. * Feel free to hate me for a bit here, I always dislike it when someone spruiks about their looks in a forum, but I feel it's relevant here. I still suffer from low self esteem, I'm very prone to jealousy, though I've been much better last year or so. * I also have great legs, a good tan. About same boobwise I guess, on the smaller side, but still respectable ( B cup Aus ). I confess to a prior pancake butt, but about a million 'squeeze and release' and other stuff I'm proud to admit there's a small , but definitely pert little butt there. 3. Do me no good to flirt with her man, he'd only want to take me up and he really is a sleazebag, I' can't stomach flirting with him and I REALLY do not want to hurt my man. He's been hurt before and still has some issues I guess. The point; Even though I put an end to the 'association', it's very clear she's not letting it go. I managed to stop obsessing, and I was, driving me bf nuts with it. I really hadn't thought about her for a couple of months until one day... there it is driving slowly past our house in a strange car. Not once, but twice. Here's she is again about a week later. At christmas she saw me downtown and actually followed me around, I think, trying to get my attention. We haven't spoken for 9 months and she still won't quit! The dilemma; Her grandmother is sickening, and I do really care about her, she's been nothing but a supportive sweetie to me. I visited her the other day and encountered SP in the driveway of the farm. It's only a matter of time before we meet in the ring. I know I probably need help, thank you in advance. I know I should be flattered that she expends so much energy just competing with me. I know it's just not good for me to stew. BUT I WANNA TEACH THAT *#@*) A LESSON. So ( briefly now ) here's my plan. Look my absolute best at all times, be ever alert for incoming barbs and ready to give some back. So sorry bout the long post... Worse, I have to cut it short here, bf home any minute and kids are here. I don't want him to know how much it still gets to me. Will be back later tonight, I really look forward to everyones opinions and advice from those who have read the WHOLE post and thereforeeee understand. If it's all horribly boring I'm sorry but don't really have many I can talk to, guess I needed to vent. Thanks for reading.