From a darker period in my life a few years ago.....
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At one time, there was a future. A sense of hope and belonging that
two people share. In sharing our souls, there was peace, and the
knowledge that life was good.
At one time, there was happiness. Taking delight in each others
strengths and supporting each others weaknesses. There was peace, and
the knowledge that life was good.
At one time, there was togetherness. Knowing that there was support
and understanding. There was peace, and the knowledge that life was
good.
At one time, there was love. A love that burned like a beacon in the
night. Unconditional. Special. Resilient. Tender. There was peace, and
the knowledge that life was good.
At one time, there was betrayal. And then there was forgiveness.
Accompanied by the unconditional love that allows one to forgive. And
yet, there was no forgiveness for yourself. Just guilt and self
loathing.
Now there is no peace. Life is not good. Emptiness, sadness, a deep
ache where there once was life. Wandering, wondering, and tears of
despair. No sense of direction, the winds gone from my sails. Am I
destined to wander aimlessly forever?
I dread the night, for it brings the dreams. Dreams that are
shattered, broken, tormenting my soul. I awake sobbing, and reach for
what's not there.
I take no delight in the morning, because that spot is empty. Where
there once was a delight in looking forward to the day, there is now
nothing. A hollow shell stares back from the mirror. Where I was once
complete, I am now nothing.
At the day's end, the hollowness remains. A cancer eating away at the
core of who I am. Tears. Lots of tears. An anguish that threatens to
tear my very existence in two.
At one time, there was love. A love that burned like a beacon in the
night. Unconditional. Special. Resilient. Tender. That love is still
there. If only she would reach out and accept it.