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  • Olivia Sanders
    Olivia Sanders

    The High or Low of Dating: The Ugly Truth about Female Standards

    In the fast-paced world of modern dating, it has become increasingly common for women to have unreasonable standards while searching for the perfect partner. Although physical characteristics may be more important to some than others, there needs to be a level of emphasize placed on character and personality over looks. This sets women up to be let down and disappointment when the person they are attracted to is lacking in either themselves or physically.

    These standards run deeper than what we put on the surface like if a prospect isn't tall enough, lacks chest hair, or makes under a certain salary. It's usually the lack of emotional intelligence, wanting someone to mirror our expectations rather than find harmony with us, faulting someone for not being able to read our minds, and having an entitled attitude from our partners that really leads us astray.

    Instead of having blinders on when it comes to specs or making a checklist or judging too quickly whether our date is attractive, it might do us good to pause for a second and inspect our prospective partner's character and values. People need to move from the physical realm and take into account the mental and emotional parts of someone's identity. Failures, challenges, and vulnerability are what can end up connecting two people—not whether you have a rock hard body or a luxurious high paying job.

    It's ironic that many of us expect such a high magnitude of admiration in our partners, but don't truly acknowledge their journey, appreciation for life, type of motivation they possess, self-knowledge, and capacity to hear and acknowledge someone else's thoughts. At the same time, we don't possess that kind of self-assuredness ourselves. We want someone to come in like an ideal prince charming and free us from the battles we deal with every day but don't understand that romance also requires work and requires effort and understanding--and especially requires an expansion on both sides rather than staying stagnant as admirers or admirees.

    When it comes down to it all, we either have low standards for character or high standards for character—there is no middle ground. Tests will present themselves within relationship healthcare, such as navigating through hardship, showing patience during difficult moments those experiences will be magnified and the outlook of thoughtfulness that once seemed so effortless at the start. Therefore it is essential we learn to stretch and develop our expectations in order to ensure both parties understand and grow together; notjust satisfy each other emotionally by remaining in the same place.

    The truth is uncomfortable yet still stands: If satisfaction remains unexplored in relationships or responsibility neglected, then this package is doomed because it was never developed within the same way one manicures their nails or grooms facial hair. We must learn how to invest energy in understanding one another in order to reap long-term satisfaction that doesn't fade as soon as looks do—because let's face it, everything fades eventualluy and what's left after it does truly speaks volumes. Let go of your physical expectations on someone and measure them on who they are inside instead. That type of standards brings forth the notion that who we pick should actually matter for the right reasons and form lasting connections. After all that is what relationships should be based off of—being connected on a deeper level than just looks alone.

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