I'm so sorry for your pain. I know how hard this is. But I have a few questions.
Why would you list all the faults of this other girl? Your ex sounds like a horrible person so they are made for one another.
Also, you cheated on him, so you've not been the nicest person either.
This is a very codependent relationship. You want to change him and knock some sense into him. Most of the time when we (I say we cause I am also a classic codep) try to change others, we're avoiding our own issues.
Focus on your issues and stop hoping he'll change. He won't!
Your self esteem is at zero so start with that and the rest will come