How do I stop being angry with myself over past situations?

[g84]

Ok, I find that i dwell a lot on things that happened in the past. Especially past situations in which i feel like I wasn't really being myself - and it led someone to see me in a way that I would never want someone to see me It's bad because if i told you the situation, i know that you'd say - that's really nothing serious..but, i don't know why I have a lot of trouble with this. I worry about running into people from the past, and I imagine that they would think the worst. It's really horrible that something really tiny that my friend said is what is triggering all of this... but I just want to know, how do you let yourself off the hook - when you know that you weren't really being yourself, but there's nothing you can do to change the way you acted? I still cringe when i think about how i was then...and i just want to move on because, i have learned more now...but yet, once in a while, i still feel sick and guilty thinking about it. ](*,)

[Cooperstown]

What does it matter what people think if they aren't important to you? Care about the opinions of those that mean the most, remember, Don't waste your time on a man/woman, who isn't willing to waste their time on you.

[g84]

The problem is that the person i have in mind, i still Do care about him, and what he thought/thinks - and i don't know how to stop.

[edjuvreason]

There isn't really a way TO stop ...

Believe me, I know. I get myself into that situation alllll the time.

 

I think the only way to redeem yourself -- even if only TO yourself, which is at least in my case what it's really all about subconsciously -- is to act like your true self. Especially around the person in question. That way, even if nobody else notices or believes you, you will know that you're accurately representing yourself ... and if the other person still doesn't treat you the way you'd like, it won't be your fault

[GottaLetItBurn]

You never really get over it, just learn to deal with it. I get some great text from a girl that went to her ex over me and he cheated on her again. She writes those little "I love you/miss you" texts every now and then..and I use it as a confidence boost.

 

However, when I wasn't getting anything from her, I learned to move on.

 

The thing about the past, if it confronts you, you can turn it into a good thing sometimes. If it doesn't, then you can move on.

[cami1968mc]

Apologize to that person, I have had people do that to me and it really changed the way I felt about them, but the majority of our problems are learning how to re-act to people, believe it or not it is the only thing that we have been taught by our families or raised, I had to learn the hard way through divorce. We all do things that we regret sometimes and sometimes we can do even greater things to show that we have learned from our mistakes, believe it or not, that is probably the only thing that that other person wants to see.