Romance at School?

[Moriarty]

Hi everyone. I'm new here but I need some advice.

 

I'm a college senior and I have a crush on the grad student that teaches one of my classes. I consider myself shy but try not to let that stop me. The problem is that he is also shy and is really quiet. He doesn't talk with anyone before class and the only interaction he has with us is answering questions.

 

I want to ask him out at the end of the semester but I need to talk to him before then. I have no idea how to approach him, what to say, etc. Also, he's very professional and I'm worried that he won't want to date a student. So I also have to let him know that I'm graduating. How do I go about this?

 

Also, when I do approach him, how will I know whether he is interested?

 

Thanks so much!

[bacci]

I am a grad student and I know that he couldn't get involved at this point because of sexual harrasment policies, as a grad student you get orientation about sexual harrasment policies. You must wait until you actually graduate to contact him about that, anything you say before you are not his student anymore might scare him and doubt your motives. Seriously.

Good luck,

B

[cpc28655]

That is what is known as a "conflict of intrest." My advice, avoid it like the plauge. However, this is ONLY my opinion.

[now_better]

after the semester/quarter is over and you receive your grade, go visit him in OH or send him an e-mail to see if he wants to go out for coffee or something. TAs are people too.

[laboheme]

Relationships between TAs and students are such a complicated topic...As somebody mentioned, there's the issue of sexual harassement. Also, romantic involvement no longer makes it an unbiased educational environment. And sure, it may sound appealing to have your boyfriend correcting your tests because he's sure to be lenient...but what if you have a falling out? Or what if he is extra hard on you in order to not play favorites? Soooooooo complicated.

 

Absolutely don't mention anything until the semester is over...things could get way awkward! However, before/after class starts, don't be shy to ask questions pertaining to the class (as long as they are legitimate...it's SO easy to spot silly fabricated questions!). Maybe drop by during his office hours to chat about your test results, or something along those lines. Keep it strictly academic though!!! But by interacting with him outside of class, you'll make yourself stand out above the rest of your classmates. That way when you contact him AFTER the semester is over, he won't scratch his head and go "Who is that?"

 

I definitely understand your dilemma though...Going through almost the same thing myself. But my academic career is too important to me (and I would never want to jeopardize his academic career), so nothing's going to happen anytime soon...

[Moriarty]

Thanks for your guys' replies. I hope no one misunderstood but I definitely have no intention of making any type of move while I'm in his class. I see the "conflict of interest" and that's why I stressed the fact that I'm waiting until I graduate. But I just want to talk to him to see if he's friendly. I thought maybe I could ask him about his dissertation or something?

 

And I thought asking him out by email was weird and only a last resort. I was going to pick up the final exam after it was graded and do it then. Good idea or not?