Struggling with withdrawal.. when will this stop?

[babybear]

I found out what a pig my ex boyfriend is on Saturday.. again. I won't go into details again but I felt I had to go none-contact this time properly.

Having been together almost three years this is proving to be very hard. At first it wasn't too bad but it's been five days now and it's really affecting me. I can't think about anything else except him. I can't do my work, I even caught myself justifying getting in touch with him a few hours ago. The withdrawal symptons are proving to be rather unbearable, I keep checking my phone etc etc. I don't even understand why cause he has behaved unforgivable towards me.

Just wondering when all of this will settle down?

[kellbell]

Hey babybear,

 

I am so sorry about your breakup. Let me just reassure you what you feeling right now it completely normal. I like to call it "emotional detox." It is your emotions, mental state, everything adjusting to not having your ex boyfriend around. Even though things were rough at the end, he was still comfortable, familiar and humans are creatures of habit. We feel "safe" around what is comfortable and familair even though the circumstances are not always desirable.

 

You WILL adjust, you WILL be fine. I promise. Give yourself time. Three years is a sigificant period time, the feelings will not go away overnight. In the meantime, I would take care of you. Go out with your friends, work out, get a pedicure. But try not to "stuff" your feelings either. If you feel like crying, cry. If you feel like hitting something, punch a pillow. Get all those emotions out now, out of your system so when you are ready to move on with someone else, you are not tied down with emotional baggage. Hang in there.

 

 

(((hugs)))

[babybear]

The strange thing is I found out he had slept with someone else months ago on Saturday and had been leading me on for months and being initmate with me and I haven't even shed a tear.

[kellbell]

Hey there,

"I haven't even shed a tear."

 

A few things may be happening here. One, it has not set in yet and your in shock or numb and if that is the case, you may feel bad about it later. And if and when that does happen, do not run away from those feelings, experience them. It is okay to feel upset, angry, betrayed. Get all those yucky feelings out.

 

Another thing may be is that you are realizing the kind of person he truly is and this is another one of his antics so this not a shock to you.

 

In either case, it is okay to get angry about it. You have every right to be angry. It is part of the healing process.