Confused, need your advice.

[Eagle]

Hello everyone,

 

Well, here it is... Theres this girl I know at my work, she hasn't been there that long, but we're very close co-workers and were always hugging, and shes always kissing my hands and stuff, but she is bi-sexual and has a girlfriend, now I enjoy all the times we fool around, because it makes me happy, but in the longrun I tend to get jealous at times, and feel used, in the past I've been used all the time, so it's hard and depressing. Tonight we were talking on the phone, and it was a very good conversation until near the end, We were talking about things we thought between us, and she told me some things, and I said stuff back, and one of the things I said, was that there were times at work I wanted to actually kiss her, and she said she could tell and stated the times in which I actually did want too, it was still fine, but later she said she doesn't think she'd do anything more than just hugging and kissing my hand and stuff, and being on the phone with her after that just felt very ackward, and I didn't feel right... She said she doesn't want to be leading me on, but now in my head that's exactly what she is doing, and she doesn't even realize it, and it's hard to talk to her about these things because I work with her, now the reason why im posting is, I need advice because I cannot seem to make a decision, so I need people to do it for me... Should I continue on letting us hang all over each other and me getting hurt, or should I just END everything the next time were working together, and then try explaining to her, like saying, look, I really like you, and I enjoy all the thigns we do while fooling around, bu I cant go any further because Im going to end up getting hurt and it's hard already, and tell her I dont want her getting her feelings hurt either, or something like that, please help me people, im alreadu hurt because of all of this.

[melrich]

She sounds like quite a flirty type but she seems to have also made it clear to you that that is as far as it is going to go. I think you have to decide whether you can handle the interaction with her continuing as it is and never going any further.

[Eagle]

Yes, but I already tried.. All this flirting is making me think oh maybe theres a chance, and I know theres not in another way. In the mean time, it's slowly hurting me, and it's hard to make a decision on wat to do.

[melrich]

If it's hurting you then I think you take the approach you talked about. Let her know you are not comfortable with things and don't want to continue with the relationship you have (or at least not as it is.)

[Eagle]

That's why it's a hard decision..... I mean, I like what we have now. When we're working together it's so much fun, but when I'm home and I begin to think about her, I realize that what I'm doing is going to make it harder for me as the days go on. It's hard to explain actually, have you ever done something in your life that you thought would make you happy, but in the mean time it makes u feel worse?