Valentine's day?

[Masu16]

Yea so Valentine's day is coming up and I feel a bit sad because I have noone special to spend it with. I immediately thought of my ex. I still care about her, and I think she still does to me but she just doesnt show it. Should I get her something? And if so, what would be a good example? And how should I give it? I just want to show her I care. This is by no means an attempt to 'win' her back, it would just make me feel better if I did something good for a change.

[dontknowwhattodo]

no, don't get her anything. she is an ex for a reason.

[friscodj]

The two most glaring points here are the fact you say you think she cares but she isn't showing it and the fact you posted this in the "Getting Back Together" forum.

 

The notion of "Valentine's Day" is a hypnotic illusion bred from capitalist motivation that tells us we need to be in a relationship or there's something wrong with us (spend money), or if we are in a relationship, (spend money) and show our love for our significant other. Just look at all the booked-up reservations at restaurants and roses that suddenly cost 3-4 times as much as they do any other time of the year...times when you could just as well make an extra special expression of your love for your special someone...

 

Anyway...back to your story...

 

Your motivation here is bred from your sadness connected to your loneliness generated from this machinery I described above. Fight the power man, stand up to the man. This girl isn't showing you the goods because she doesn't want to. Either she hurts too much and wants to stay away or she despises you and wants to stay away. At any rate...she is staying away...

 

The best thing, the most civil thing to do I think, is let her stay away. She wants the emotional distance, so give it to her, and take it for yourself. She likely doesn't care if you care, sorry to say. Keep your memories of her and what you had to yourself and accept the fact that it is OK for ends to come and people to distance themselves from each other...

 

P.S. You've got some profound quotes by two solid authors in your signature there, especially for someone 16 years old. You're going to go places buddy...

[shyguy007]

I say I have to agree with friscodj, you don't need to get or do anything for her. You don't really owe here anything. The best thing is to just move on to bigger and better things; at least that is what I am doing.