Don't know what to do, but willing to try....

[soul]

Hey everyone,

I really need some help here, so any advice would help.

If you are interested you can get the whole background on my relationship under post by SOUL.

 

Here goes. I broke up with my girl about 3 weeks ago, because I know she did not want to be tied down in a commited relationship, after a year she told me that she wanted to be able to see other people but she did not want to lose me. I accepted this for about 2 months we agreed to let each other know if we met someone. I soon realized that this is not what I wanted and made the difficult decision to let her go. She really took it hard. But in the end I knew that I loved this girl and just couldn't stay and be second to anyone else. I really thought she was ready to be in a real loving monogoumous relationship, shes almost 27 has had plenty of sexual partners and has been in a serious relationship. It's not like were 18 and have been each others first everything.

 

So I have made the consciencous decision that I really want to be with her and have a loving relationship. But I don't know how to go about it. Its been 3 months that she told me how she feels about wanting to "experience" other people and almost 1 month since we broke up.

 

We don't speak very often and I don't call or try to push our relationship on her. I am trying to give her time and space but I am not sure on how long to wait. I don't know if she has met someone. She says she thinks of me, but I know thath she has alot going on and am not sure that she allows her self to think about whether she wants to be with me. She says she doesn't want to lose me.

 

What should I do? should I wait longer to tell her how I feel?hould I wait u ntil she has had a chance to go out with some people. I don't want to call because I don't want to seem weak, even though I am really hurting inside. Maybe if I wait too long she willl meet someone else who will let her forget about me

 

When we were having problems before we broke up she told me that she wanted to have a good healthy relationship with me, I know she has alot of issues to work out within herself.

 

This is a really special girl and I don't want to let her slip by with out at least trying. some advie would really be appreciated.

 

 

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[segagirl]

Hey there soul,

 

Since the two of you do have a long history, I think it is important you tell her sooner than later. She may not be ready at this point but, at least it will be out in the open.

 

I just want you to realize that it was she that wanted to experience other things, so be prepared for her to feel the same way. You have to sit her down and be honest about what you want from her anyway.

 

You need to have a plan though, see something lead her to want to see other people. Have those issues been dealt with? Is is something you can at least pinpoint? That way you can say to her.....I know "this" was the issue, and here is how I think we can work on the issue.

 

Best of luck to you, and yes I really think you should just tell her.