Help me.....somebody please help

[leofromearth]

edited edited edited

[caliboy_2007]

Well, I understand you mentioned the reason for breaking up cannot be explained here but that is really what needs to be said.

 

She is hurting really bad right now for obviously the reason that she is shocked as to why you did what you did.

 

If nothing can be explained, I would say maintain No Contact with her. It will hurt her ALOT but still less than staying friends and then seeing you with somebody else later on. It will kill a lover to see their loved one with somebody else. I know it.

[ultraviolet]

Can you really be her friend at this point? Ever? Be honest with yourself, then her.

 

With time it's possible to be friends with Ex's if the two people involved are mature and don't play games. If you really want to keep her in your life, perhaps it'd help to set up a future date to meetup, say 6 months down the road?

[renaissancewoman101]

If you still care about her as a friend and she is extending the olive branch to you to be her friend, I would be her friend. It will help her get over you and help you guys to move on.

 

As you can see right now, she is suffering immensely and that isnt good either.

[renaissancewoman101]

Leo, has she asked to talk to you, to keep in contact with you? If it seems that she really NEEDS it or is in a lot of pain because of your breakup, I would talk to her and tell her that you could have a friendship (if you are REALLY interested in one), but there has to be guidelines (like no hanging out alone, etc.) You guys work out the guidelines. That way she can let go slowly, instead of doing this one-two chop that is probably to her, akin to chopping off a vital part of her body.

 

I have been in her shoes before many times, and I do know how much she is suffering.

 

I am never an advocate of promoting suffering on others.

[renaissancewoman101]

You know what, I dunno. I have always been the one who has been dumped. Most time, the guys just kick me in the face and walk away without even offering me an olive branch of friendship. Those were one of the most painful parts of my life. My first ex stayed friends with me, although he went on to find a new SO (he turned out to be gay) and we are somewhat good friends.

 

Besides that, I have made it work out where me and the guy who dumped me, stayed reasonably ok friends. Took a lot of effort and patience and endurance on my part, but it has worked out, mostly because the guy gave me the chance and didnt just walk away.