insanity depression

[White Rider]

totaly dont know where to start, i really find it so deficult to talk about myself and mainly my proplems, i find it really hard,i can write it down sometimes but im really incapable of talking about it to anybody, totaly not my family couse there is no way they will understand, or any other relative, and i cant talk to my friends too. i dont know,i just cant, i used to talk about it sometimes to people i met over the net but the fact that everyone i talked about my proplems with started ignoring me just after i did is stopping me from doing that again

i went to unvirsity so now i live about 45 miles away from home, for the past half year, all i can feel is depression, im always feeling so down and i cant do anything at all, i cant concetrate on studing thats why im aint getting such a good results in the university, i feel totaly crashed and incapable of doing anything , i just dont seem to fit anywhere, i feel lonely all the time though i have some friends, but still i feel so lonely, and im incapable of getting any satisfaction of my self or anybody or lifeitself, i always over react, i put very high exspectation on people espacily the ones i meet online and ge attached to them so fast,thats why im disapointed of everybody even my best friends, sometimes i just feel that i hate everyone totaly everyone, i just cant stand anyone anymore, i cant trust anyone sepacily girls, and almost everyone i now is too busy from hearing me out, and the funny part, i feel sad couse there away, but also when they return and just minutes after talking to them i feel even worse!!!!!!!! (still cant explain that)

i just spend hours and hours of doing nothing just wasting time instead of studing for my exams in 2 weeks, i think of death alot, nothing seems to be right inspite of the fact that my life isnt that bad, i mean if i look at it from a different point of view,its not that bad or i cant say that its the worst,but still inside me i always have that feeling, and i cant seem to get rid of it.

any simple silly thing can bring back all the hurts i had on my entire life over my shoulders again, its like happening all over and over, and my crasy mind start even making it worse, i start imagening things that never happened and never will, and i buy that, and act like they just happened,i seem to torture my self,i just cant take it anymore

even now after writing this, i dont think that i got even close to what i feel,i have the proplem that i always make people take the rong impression about me, i dont know, maybe i dont understand my self, or dont know what i want

p.s.: sorry for the english im aint that good in it

[lauralied]

Listen White Rider: YOU'RE GOING TO BE OK

 

You are going through a dark time, and when most things aren't going well they seem to compound and make everything seem doomed and pointless. BUt YOUR LIFE is NOT pointless! You may need to try depression medication, just to see if it may help you. Some of the most influential people in my life are taking depression meds and it works for them, and they have had some hard knocks as well. I WANT YOU TO REALIZE THAT THERE IS ONLY ONE OF YOU IN THIS WORLD. Even though right now you may not feel like anyone even cares and that nothing will ever improve, I have to tell you, things will improve. I am not undermining your feelings by saying this, just reassuring you--most people have gone through dark, dark times, including myself. You are never alone in the world. The difference with you and the majority of depressed-feeling people is that you may actually have a chemical imbalance, and technically, clinically, may be DEPRESSED and will require a little bit of help to get you out of the dumps. But it's not going to be so hard. Tell someone in your life about this, someone you trust, so that the burden of your emotions is not only on yourself. If you don't get anything else out of this but what I'm about to say, then I will be happy: You will see better days. Things WILL get better. NEVER, EVER give up! I don't even know you, and look, I care about you so much already, and I care what your next step is. So imagine how much the actual figures in your life care about you!!!!!! Keep in touch. . .

 

Laura

[spirited]

if you go to a university, is there someone there you could talk to? perhaps a counselor or any psycological service? i think sometimes just talking about it will help a lot, and maybe when you can't talk to your friends or your family, it might be best to seek professional help. if there isn't one available to you, then i guess it's good you came here since this is what this forum is for. it's not good to keep everything to yourself. sometimes you just need to talk about things, and i've only been here for a short while, but i know that there are people here who will listen to you.

 

you're not alone in feeling the way you do. i have gone through something similar. what i think you need to do is tell yourself that you can make things better. you don't have to sit around and feel depressed all the time. you even said that if you look at your life from another point of view, you can see that it's not that bad. just try to keep that perspective. think about all the good things in your life.

 

maybe one thing you can do is try to figure out what is causing your depression and see if you can change it. think about what u need to do to get better, and do it. if you can't, then ask yourself what's stopping you.

 

i know that these are just words, and it's all easier said than done, but just know that you have the power to make things better. you just need to believe that you can get better...

 

take care.

[EmptySoul]

hi even though i love my life, i really know how you feel, believe it or not. no matter how close i am to people i feel like they dont know me at all and im constantly disappointed with people even if they didnt do anything to deserve me being mad at them...i've talked to a lot of people online and i dont stop talking to anyone because they're depressed. talking about suicide, wanting to die or anything doesn't freak me out....i posted a poem on here one time when i was very very mad, (i got over it quickly, as always, but at the moment...) and i'm going to PM you so you can read it. hopefully, it'll just let you know, that you're not alone. feel free to PM me on here or email me @ email removed or email removed

 

im here for anyone and everyone, even anybody that feels like nobody

EmptySoul