How do i cope with this PAIN?!

[beejy04]

Hey, Mar knows the situation but Im having problems dealing with the jealousy in my half existant relationship with a girl. we recently took a break to date other people after 8 months of nothing but happiness and joy. it was perfect, i treated her like a queen but she needs to date other people to figure out if im the one since we are getting so seroius. how do i deal with the jealousy of thinking about her messing around with other guys?

[SnowYs]

Try not to think about her "messing around" with other guys. I just broke up with a wonderful man I was in love with, and I can sit here and visualize him with someone else and I feel that jealousy/insanity feeling rising. (KINDA LIKE NOW!!! ACK! )

 

Clear your mind. Go watch TV that wont make you think of her.

 

I find exercise is a great way to get rid of emotional stress. And you are doing something positive for your body. (A walk, bike ride, lifting weights, etc......)

 

Hope this helps.

[crookster_man]

Why are you accepting this? People will only give you what you demand for yourself and treat you as poorly as you allow them. If you don't want to have an open relationship then you say "NO". You have every right to expect what you want in a relationship.

 

This is not demanding or controlling, this is asking for what you want in a relationship. If she cannot respect your wishes or finds it to restricting then you are both not meant for each other. You have to find someone who wants the same things in life and in a relationship to be happy. You cannot force her to e with you alone, the same she cannot force you to be happy with her fooling around.

 

Express to her what you want and need. If she is unable to deliver then pack you bags and move on. Don't settle for less then your worth. If you do, people will ALWAYS sell you short.

[S4il]

Wow, that word again jealousy, it might be safe to say the root of al evil, that and Money....I would try to wait this out, you said she wants to date other guys....or is already dating other guys>>??

 

If she already is, than don't keep telling yourself "OMG she is Sleeping with them" that isn't the case at all, she is just exploring what is around her, Besides you..she isn't ready to Commit to a Serious Relationship, so she wants to voyage out, You said it yourself..Treated her like a Queen.

 

OK.........So what do you have to worry about, Most likely these "other" guys, If she meets/dates them are NOT going to be what you have Been to her & shown her. She is now going to compare these other guys to "YOU" and that is a Good thing. think about it, you have done everything for her, treated her like royalty, and will so anything for her....Dude She knows that, and I'm positive that she Respects that to the Fullest. But she just isn't ready to become committed to you just yet, that is going to take time. and good things come with Time..If you really want to get over your jealous trip, Try doing the same., No reason why you can't..Right? Meet some girl, see if that helps. Don't Sit and Build up that Jealous feeling, b/c that feeling is *one day* going to boil over into some pretty harsh words/statements to her, and will make her upset. that being the EVIL...And you don't want that to happen my friend.

 

well i hope i helped a Bit, i know that same feeling is hard to overcome. but jsut try not to dwell on it. eating helps! hahaha (ok just some humor)

[beejy04]

dear s4il, thanks a lot, that really helped. i am kindof restricted from seeing other people because i know everyone in my age bracket. i live in a small town and so does she, she is seeing a freshman in the local community college.....i cant really find anyone new but i will try to see other girls. thanks a lot for helpin out.

[S4il]

Oh the small town thing, Must Suck. It's Different for me i live in the 2nd biggest town in Illinois (Aurora).

 

Any ways that isn't important, But I Do see what your saying about your "restricted" because of the size of your town, it one of those Everyone Knows Everyone type towns and everything that happens pretty much gets around quite fast. God..! that would stress me out.

 

But You Girl who is seeing this "freshman" in a community college isn't a bad thing at all, i thought you meant a lot of guys, Like 4-5 different guys, But if it's only one...than your still in excellent shape my friend, It's You V.S. the "freshman" (more Humor) I'm not saying go up too him and knock his teeth down his throat. Although I'm sure it would feel good, But what I'm trying to say is This "other Cat" is just some guy on the side, Your still #1 to her...and in her mind she knows that, Her seeing this other guy is just a faze..before you know it she will come running back into your arms, and Everything will be gravy. just have the mashed potatoes ready and hot, If you know what i mean by that. (Again more humor) stay optimistic, and let her know your still around, and your patiently waiting. She will realize that & will jump back into your life.

[just_smile]

ok i would just wait it out, remember if she really loves you then she wouldnt be able to do anything with another guy, the thought would just sicken her.

 

if she loves you as much as you lover her then she will come back to you just give her time to realise it.

 

girls (being one myself) only realise they have someting once its not with them anymore.

 

let her find out for her self that you are the one she wants to be with. she'll love you more for it

 

Just_smile

[beejy04]

Thanks guys, both of you gave me hope and great advice.....I live in monmouth, also in Illinois, theres only like 12000 people here so its not like a small town, but i still know most girls my age. the kid she is seeing.....i dont even know if he is interested in her, she tells me the truth about what they do and he hasnt made a move on her or anything. me and bre talk sometimes but now i dont call her anymore, i just wait for her to call me, and sometimes she does. im a senior in high school and i just dont want to waste my year waiting around for her. i just dont know when she'll come around, if she does. to tell you the truth, its all started to hurt a lot less lately. I think im starting to get over her....but i havent seen her for a couple days. ill see her tomarrow in school, i have a class with her, and ill just be a nice guy to her. i wont pressure her or anything, and i wont act like a dick and hit on every other girl in the class like i did last week. maybe she'll realize that i really care for her and the other guy doesnt? well thanks anyways guys.

 

ps. should i do something sweet for her birthday even though we are "broken up?"