together 8 months, taking a break, will she return to me?

[beejy04]

Hey, my name is ben and me and my girlfriend recently broke up after 8 months. in fact, she broke up with me on our anniversary....she seemed heartbroken. she said that im always so sure about how strongly i feel for her, but she doesnt know how she feels about me. she has never had another boyfriend, never kissed another guy or anything, and she doesnt know if she loves me because she doesnt know what love is. im so confused and sad right now. she wants to see other people and she says that if it doesnt work out then it was really meant to be between us. she seems sincere about it and i talked to her about it last night. i told her tha i didnt thik i could wait for her since this is my senior year in hs and i have less than a year left before i move away to college. we never really fought that much about anything and we were perfect together. we were both claiming to be in love but then this arrises.....what am i supposed to do, say, think? i dont want to lose her but i cant push to hard to get her back right? PLEASE HELP ME!!!

[Mar]

Ahh, you're in a tough spot....if this is her first relationship, then yeah, she's gonna be confused on whether what she's feeling is "true love" or not....I think it's a rare person that can go from being alone all their lives to finding someone and KNOWING that that's THE ONE. Not to mention the age factor....I'm sure you don't want to hear it, but yeah, teens have to spread their wings or whatever you want to call it. It IS the time when you date several people, and find out what works in a relationship and what doesn't. It causes a LOT of doubt, even when things are good, just because the experience isn't THERE to judge. And if you're leaving for college, would you two continue the relationship long distance? How would that work for you OR her? I'm not sure what to add except that if you two love each other, you'll find a way to make it work. Maybe if you DO let her go, she'll find that once she's free, she doesn't want to be with anyone but you. For both your sakes, I hope so. Good luck

[beejy04]

Well i talked to her today and she says that she still really wants to be friends until this stage is over. She still wants to go to homecoming with me and hang out and talk and stuff. I just dont want to waste my senior year waiting around for her if theres a chance she will not return. shes seeing a freshman in college right now that i think shes pretty interested in. what should i do? wait, or move on? im looking for someone to date right now as we speak. please give me more advice.

[Mar]

Well, if she's seeing someone, why shouldn't you? And if it turns out that you end up really clicking with someone new, then go for it.....she's not the only one who deserves to go out there and date, you do too, you know. There's no law written in stone that says you two won't get back together at some point, but I'd have to say that if she's dating, why are you going to make yourself miserable thinking about her with some other guy while you're sitting at home pining away for her? Go out and have FUN, man...

[beejy04]

Mar, I wish it were true that i could go out and find someone new. We both live in a town of 10,000. Everyone that is in my age bracket I already know and it just wouldnt happen. Ive been so seroius about Breanne, that now I feel nothing for anyone i know. If i could meet some new people it would be a lot easier, but there is nobody new. besides, ive been thinking a lot lately and as much as i want to say its not true, it probably is. You see, she is the kind of person no matter what she hast o do, she will make herself happy above all else. Which isnt wrong per say, but she just doesnt consider others feelings at all. She met this guy a week ago from friday, and she broke up with me not even a week later telling me she needs to date other people for the good of our relationship. translation: if it doesnt work out between her and her new guy, shes got me to fall back on. she was over there the day that she dumped me, that must have been when she decided she did want to be with him instead of me. as much as this hurts, i know its got to be true...she says she wants to talk, she doesnt return my calls, she doesnt show any sign of remorse, its hard to swallow but i think its the truth. i cant let myself be walked on, either i hurt now, or i drag it out and hurt later. am i right?

[Mar]

You're totally right....you've got a good handle on the situation, and the end consequences. DON'T BE A DOORMAT. C'mon, her actions are showing her true colors pretty damn well....you DO have some pride, right? I'd rather be alone ANY day than subject myself to being someone's whipping boy (or girl, in my case) when they felt the need. Show some dignity and walk away from her, chasing her's only gonna make it worse. Don't let her see you sitting at home wilting away from this, go out and try to have a good time. And if you don't meet anyone, (and I highly doubt you know every single female in your city...lol) then so be it....enjoy being alone, I did. (Took awhile, but I came to prefer calling the shots in my life instead of deferring to someone else all the time.) Don't sweat it so hard, hon....just let her go with grace and the fact that you made the right decision in doing so.

[beejy04]

Mar, Today she called me and I told her what i thought about the situation and she started to cry, she gave the phone to her mom, who is really cool and loves me, and her mom and i talked for about an hour. she said that bre is just going through a hard time right now because she does want to be more serious with me but at the same time she doesnt want to go through her teenage years without dating. she explained that bre hasnt ever even kissed another guy before and she wants to be seroius with me, even through college. i want to go to isu which is just further than an hour away, so i would be able to see her every once in awhile, she thinks it will work. so she wants to date a couple people now and get it over with. she doesnt think she could be happy knowing she never dated anyone besides me. her mom also explained that the guy from the college was over to their house last night and all they talked about was her situation with me. she said she turns to him for advice, i dont know if they willl hit it off or not. but bre still has pics of us all over her room too and doesnt plan on taking them down. she also called me today twice and she wants to do something sometime too. now i dont feel so strongly of throwing this all away, sounds to me like theres a good chance for us to work out? lemme hear from ya please, youre really helping me.....besides, how old are you?