What`s the kindest thing to do?

[turqoise]

Hello,

Sorry if this seems like a stupid question - but advice would be appreciated as I`m really dumb at this kind of thing. My ex from 2 relationships ago sent me an electronic Christmas card. It was me that broke up with him almost 2 years ago but I don`t think he`s over me, judging from a couple of email exchanges we had when I returned to the country in June. I have kept NC since I realised this was the case because I don`t want him to get false hopes, and even took him off the group email list when I sent out a Christmas greeting. I`d feel really mean if I didn`t at least reply, but on the other hand wouldn`t it hurt him more in the long run if I did respond?

[AwdreeHpburn]

Yes.

 

So don't.

 

He'll get it.....eventually.

[hosswhispra]

I`d feel really mean if I didn`t at least reply, but on the other hand wouldn`t it hurt him more in the long run if I did respond?

 

You're right on the ball in your thinking. I would not respond. A response may give him the wrong idea.

[turqoise]

gotcha, thanks. It`s just that it feels like such an unnatural thing to not respond, plus I hate thinking that I`m being mean. But it`s for his good, isn`t it. Man, I think I would never be able to be one of those tough love parents..

[rosie76]

I'm rubbish at this sort of thing, but I'd send a reply on the grounds that it always feels absolutely rotten to be ignored and I'd not do that to a friend, let alone someone I was much closer to at some point. I'd just make very sure I worded the reply in way that didn't invite any further communication - Thanks for your card, I hope you are doing well, take care.

[Mrs Elliott Smith]

keeping contact with him will only make things more difficult for him, because in the back of his mind, he'll think, "there's always hope." you'll be basically setting him up for disappointment if you keep contact with him. do him a favor, and cut off ties.

[turqoise]

Thanks everyone for your replies; i think i`m going to not reply, as hard as that is to think im actually being kind.

[terk2021]

Maybe just fire him an email back stating thank you for the card, but that you are not interested in being with him and wish him the best... I have been on both sides of this situation. You don't want to be mean, but you should clear things up and at least let him know you received it.

 

There's no worse feeling than rejection, but if he knows there is no interest, it will probably help him move on...