I don't know what to talk about

[ttxbcx]

Well, it's a long time since I last posted here actually. I was really shy and afraid of girls. I still am actually, but it's already a lot better now..

 

Although I find when talking to girls, I actually have nothing to talk about.. I guess my life's just boring.. (I'm actually behind my computer most of the day to be honest, and well, girls don't think that's interesting

 

Can somebody give me some advice on what to talk about when talking to a girl?

[The Law]

Get a get up n go attitude.

 

When you want to talk to a girl just put your mind on zero and go for it. Its a win win situation for you if you ask her out and she says no you can at least say to yourself i've tried, if she says yes you got a date, and you get dating experience in both cases. You always miss if you never shoot right? What has being shy ever done to you, you need to be more outgoing, with the right people that is then.

[ttxbcx]

I found that out already, still thanks.. But I have no clue what to say and what to talk about, any advice on that?

[Clementine orange]

Ask open ended questions

- Seen any good movie recently?

- Read any good books?

- who is your fav teacher - or teacher you hate

- Did you catch (name TV show that you bet she watches - ex: all girls watch "the gilmore girls")

- Where did you buy those shoes (purse, pants, top etc), my sister would like those (girls love to talk about shopping)

- Ever been to (name local attraction), I'm thinking about going there.

- Did you do something different to your hair (if she actually did, and they like it if you notice)

- got any interesting plans for this weekend?

- (seasonal) are you ready for Christmas yet? Going anywhere for Xmas etc.

- What are you listening to (in MP3 player or whatever)

 

She might bounce the question back to you so have something (intellegent) ready.

 

also, not to insult you or anything but limit the computer stuff - girls like guys who have hobbies

[Clementine orange]

in addition (and off the top of my head)

 

Things not to ask:

 

I heard you chicks get fatter in the winter time, is that true?

I can see your u.w through your pants, is that on purpose?

Are you ovulating right now?

Wanna go make out?

Is your sister (mom, cousin, best friend) seeing anyone right now, shes hot!?

Does my * * * look big in this outfit?

You are invited to a party in my pants (or pants party or whatever)

how big are those/are they real?

[ttxbcx]

in addition (and off the top of my head)

 

Things not to ask:

 

I heard you chicks get fatter in the winter time, is that true?

I can see your u.w through your pants, is that on purpose?

Are you ovulating right now?

Wanna go make out?

Is your sister (mom, cousin, best friend) seeing anyone right now, shes hot!?

Does my * * * look big in this outfit?

You are invited to a party in my pants (or pants party or whatever)

how big are those/are they real?

lol, well, actually I already knew not to ask these things..

 

Your other advice was some help to me however

[Layword]

Alright, know that what I am about to preach will probably sound very rude to you.

 

I am a strong advocate for sports and exercise. You, spending all your time behind a computer is a joke. Regardless of what your interests are the INTERNET is not the be all end all.

 

The reason why your shy of girls is simply a lack of social skills and your own self pity. You need to get out and do things with friends, maybe you already do that though? Then you need to run things through your head, almost like PLANNED conversations with girls.

 

I know some of these things may sound silly but WHATEVER it takes to you get into a position where your socializing with females is good. Another thing is just to laugh at yourself, doing that makes my day a helluva lot easier. I used to be like you so I know where your coming from.

 

All it took was 1 girlfriend to get past that stage and into my *charming skills* Take care mate, cheers.

[ttxbcx]

First of all, I appreciate your advice.

 

I am a strong advocate for sports and exercise. You, spending all your time behind a computer is a joke. Regardless of what your interests are the INTERNET is not the be all end all. The reason why your shy of girls is simply a lack of social skills and your own self pity. You need to get out and do things with friends, maybe you already do that though?

I never said I'm spending all of my time behind a computer, but I do spend a large amount of time behind it. Although it's one of my hobbies, I really should spend less time behind the computer, although it's hard not to do it, because I haven't really got much else to do. Sometimes I go skateboarding with some friends, and I also spend al lot of time (alone) playing the guitar. (Learned that all by myself)

 

But I actually I would like to do some more together with friends, but I have to admit I don't have a really big group of friends. I don't know why, a lot of people like me, but I'm not really friends with a lot of people.

 

With girls, it's far worse, they don't even like me at all, although it's getting better since I try to be more outgoing and talk with them.

 

I would especiacially love it if I could just do some fun stuf and hang out with girls, without feeling terribly shy.

 

Then you need to run things through your head, almost like PLANNED conversations with girls.

Well, PLANNED doesn't sound good. I tried preparing conversations with girls a few times already, but the girls don't respond the way I wanted them, making the situation even more uncomfortable to me, than when I just don't know what to say anymore.

 

I know some of these things may sound silly but WHATEVER it takes to you get into a position where your socializing with females is good. Another thing is just to laugh at yourself, doing that makes my day a helluva lot easier. I used to be like you so I know where your coming from.

That doesn't sound silly, it's actually what I decided I wanted to do. The problem is, I'm still not sure how.

 

The 'laughing at myself', I've never really understood what people mean with that, and I'm still not sure about it.

[Dating Coach]

STAY OFF OF SERIOUS TOPICS!

 

Keep the conversations light and fun! Joke and tease! Flirt and be confident! If you are trying to get serious or talk about things that are full of drama then you're likely going to strike out.

 

If she asks you a question, make up an outrageous response as a joke and see if she will believe you. Make the conversation with you fun! Also, open ended questions and get her talking about herself rather than making her listen to your hobbies, and when she tells you about herself, tease her!

[atraceofblood]

- Seen any good movie recently? no

- Read any good books? no

- who is your fav teacher - or teacher you hate I dont know

- Did you catch (name TV show that you bet she watches - ex: all girls watch "the gilmore girls") no

- Where did you buy those shoes (purse, pants, top etc), my sister would like those (girls love to talk about shopping) macy's

- Ever been to (name local attraction), I'm thinking about going there. no

- Did you do something different to your hair (if she actually did, and they like it if you notice) yes

- got any interesting plans for this weekend? no

- (seasonal) are you ready for Christmas yet? Going anywhere for Xmas etc. not really

- What are you listening to (in MP3 player or whatever), I don't have one

 

haha, so what if a girl answers the questions like this? lol

[silentalways]

maybe part of the problem is simply volume or words. i once dated someone and we talked about everything under the sun - the difference was she could state things in a few sentences and i blabbed in novels. i have learned the value of keeping things brief and on topic. as for any social life one has, remember, life has ebbs and flows. i used to watch tv all the time, never do now. so, last bit of lame advice is talk about what interests both of u - find out about the person and it doesn't have to be all serious stuff - just show u care and interested in them [because YOU ARE!]

[atraceofblood]

maybe part of the problem is simply volume or words. i once dated someone and we talked about everything under the sun - the difference was she could state things in a few sentences and i blabbed in novels. i have learned the value of keeping things brief and on topic. as for any social life one has, remember, life has ebbs and flows. i used to watch tv all the time, never do now. so, last bit of lame advice is talk about what interests both of u - find out about the person and it doesn't have to be all serious stuff - just show u care and interested in them [because YOU ARE!]

 

haha I tend to want to talk in the "novel" way too.

[Markers]

STAY OFF OF SERIOUS TOPICS!

 

Keep the conversations light and fun! Joke and tease! Flirt and be confident! If you are trying to get serious or talk about things that are full of drama then you're likely going to strike out.

 

If she asks you a question, make up an outrageous response as a joke and see if she will believe you. Make the conversation with you fun! Also, open ended questions and get her talking about herself rather than making her listen to your hobbies, and when she tells you about herself, tease her!

 

 

I agree, but you also can talk of serious topics, if you go right about them (and providing that you both enjoy them). If you can talk about serious subjects in light way and can make it fun and interesting, I don't see any problem. Don't rant about anything, and don't let the other person rant either.

[Clementine orange]

I wouldn't be interested in someone who can't hold a conversation, has no plans, never seen interesting movies, doesn't read, doesn't go anywhere etc etc. This person is boring

Interesting people who have things to say and have opinions are who you want to be with (great legs notwithstanding). All the rest can serve fries.

[atraceofblood]

I wouldn't be interested in someone who can't hold a conversation, has no plans, never seen interesting movies, doesn't read, doesn't go anywhere etc etc. This person is boring

Interesting people who have things to say and have opinions are who you want to be with (great legs notwithstanding). All the rest can serve fries.

 

lol. I once met a girl that I had a crush on that was kinda like this. It was so hard to talk to her, eventually I asked her what was going on and things were fine after that, but I didn't really progress with her.

 

I think one thing that makes conversations flow is a mutual interest in each other. It's so much easier to talk to the girl when both of you listen and respond back to each other and show some sort of interest.

[ttxbcx]

Thanks for all your help.. But I guess a large part of my problem is that even when I talk about things you suggested, they seem to be bored.

 

I guess I'm not that good on talking in an interesting way.. Any advice on that?

[Gunner6543]

Thanks for all your help.. But I guess a large part of my problem is that even when I talk about things you suggested, they seem to be bored.

 

I guess I'm not that good on talking in an interesting way.. Any advice on that?

 

Quite a lot of what is being communicated, is often not the words you say but how you say them. That means your tone of voice, body language, facial expression.

 

For example if i told someone to * * * * off

 

If i said that in an aggressive tone, with a snarl on my face, fists clenched and general looking like i wanted a fight, i would get a completely different reaction that if i said it with a smile on my face as they would know i was joking.

 

So think about what your body language and general tone is staying to others. Do you often simile, do you walk around with your head held high or looking at the ground. Do you fidget and fiddle with things often. Are you approaching them casually or marching in etc, etc.

[pianoguy]

Hey ttckx,

 

My conversational advice is just to ask people about themselves. People love to talk about themselves. If you ask someone about their life and act interested as they talk you will be a great conversationalist.

 

Start basic:

 

Where are you from? What do you do? Do you go to school? Where? Do you want to go to college? What do you want to be when you grow up? What do you (want to) study? What do you like to do for fun? etc. etc.

 

As they answer these questions it's polite for them to ask you similar ones or you can chime in on your own.

 

If they ask you a question you can throw it back at them if you don't have a good answer:

 

Cute boy: Do you like sports?

Me: Not really. Do you?

Cute boy: Why, I'm so glad you asked, you see...

 

Of course it could go like this instead...

 

Cute boy: Do you like sports?

Me: Not really. Do you?

Cute boy: No.

 

Of course, at this point Cute boy looks stupid and not me, and we can have a good chuckle over it.

 

I hope this helps a bit. It's worked wonders for me.

[pianoguy]

May I also add- if you are nerdy, DON'T try to hide it. Be proud of your nerdiness! It's hot. Of course there are lots girls out there who only want to date hot jocks, but they are losers and have the IQs of tadpoles. Don't try to hide that you're excited about computers! Your passions are what make you interesting. If that makes you nerdy, so be it. It's their loss!

[ttxbcx]

Thanks for the advice. The past few days I really put a lot of effort in praticing talking, and although it's really hard, it's going a little bit better already..