How to feel enriched after end of a relationship?

[jerk chicken]

Ive decieded in the past month that i dont want to be in the relationship anymore cos the man im with has no regard for my feelings and personal issues im going through, i have broken up with him without really saying it officially and i feel sad cos ido still love him but i know i will be happy to break free. He is selfish and wants a relationship with me with no strings attached e.g not talking for a week then expecting me to rush round to his place or when i cry infront of him he tells me i am too emotional and have no real problems in my life. He also tells me i am just moaning whenever i want to talk about the problems in the relationhip. Anyways i just want to kn ow how you can feel better at the end of a relationship where nothing dramatic has occurred and move on to better things. I am in no rush to find a new bf but i want to feel enriched and happy to avoid depression.

 

soz if this sounds a bit irrelevant but its quite hard 2 explain.](*,)

[BeStrongBeHappy]

i think some depression is normal in every breakup, so you have to kind of work through that and expect it...

 

it always helps to get some closure, and if you haven't really talked to him and told him you are breaking up with him, you might want to do that so that you can both can resolve some feelings and move on more easily. if he refuses to talk about it, even long enough to let you break up with him, then that's just your cue to just move on, because he is someone who will not work with you to resolve problems, and every relationship has some problems that need to be talked about... so he would never make a good permanent partner if he is inconsiderate and won't even talk to you about it.

 

spend time keeping busy and talkign to your friends, and you might get over this quicker than you think. it sounds like you've already realized it is time to move on, and it is a bit easier on the person who decides to go, since you are taking control of your own life and getting what is good for yourself.

 

so you will feel happy again when you've had some time to heal... there's really no shortcut for grieving... you have to go thru it, can't jump over it.

[skyjuice]

Hi

 

I wish I know the answer.

[laboheme]

You can possibly get "enrichment" by reminding yourself that you saw him for who he is (selfish and unsupportive) and realized that you have no need for a person like that in your life. If you think of the relationship as a lesson learned, it will be easier to feel enriched by the experience rather than depressed by the fact that it ended.

 

Good luck with everything! *hugs*

[rmpavlock]

I agree with the above poster. Just remember why you broke it off. You had a good reason. The relationship was unsatisfying and he didn't care how you felt. Then do nice things for yourself. Keep busy with work or friends. Try to get out and meet some new people. Basically, stay active. Working out also feels good when you are down about something (works for me anyway).

[atraceofblood]

I'm just wondering why you aren't telling him that you are breaking things off?

[jerk chicken]

The reason is because I have tried to tell him before and he acts like its not a big deal and i'm not going to follow through, or he tells e that I'm just being emotional, so I don't wanna talk to him

[Momene]

Some people "break up" when what they are really doing is going into NC for a few days because they are angry about something. If you do it often enough, when a break up is real they don;t believe it.

[jerk chicken]

i have broke up properly with him today and told him never to contact me again but he called like 5 hours later, i didnt pick up and dont intend to. I dunno what to do when he calls me again in maybe a week which am sure he will i cant give in but its well hard when u still have feelings.

[Momene]

The feeling will go. Honestly. Believe me.