lost HS sweetheart

[justaluvr]

i went out with this girl for 3 years in high school, when we went off to college, she broke up to "experience college single and for both of us to see what else is out there." this killed me, i lost 30 pounds, because i never EVER wondered what else was out there. BUt we both have hopes of gettin back together possibly after college. We still talk almost every day, and tell each other we love each other. Ok, some background on us, i play college football and have a very promising career, (avg. starting salary is 60,000$) in my major. and she is VERY attractive and she knows it, she LIVES to party and drink, and is very flirtatious. i know she will make out with lots of guys, date alot, but hopefully nothing too sexual ( we were each others firsts). she told me the other night that it is a good idea for us to have sex with other people because "i didnt know how to do it right, because she never got off, and i never put her in a horny mood." anyways i was wondering if any of you have advice on EXACTLy what to do to keep her wanting me. obvioulsy right now she does not want to be together, but do i need to make her jealous, or do nothign with girls, or what would you suggest to make her regret leaving me, and want me back?

[jimthzz]

Move on!

 

She has. You don't need to take her crap.

 

Find other women to date. Keep it light, no serious relationships and college will be more fun for you.

 

She is not the girl you think she is.

[heloladies21]

I'd be honest with you and tell you to do them if psychological games worked, but at best they serve as a temporary patch as the underlying issues haven't been solved, so even if things like jealousy or NC work to bring a chick back into a relationship, the relationship always end up failing again. This happens every single time.

 

The only reason a chick would act the way she is acting is if she's not interested in you and doesn't believe you're the one for her. A few different things influence this, one thing is for sure she doesn't think you have the guts and self confidence to stick up for yourself and what you truly want by you accepting this friends with benefits situation. She doesn't think you truly care about her, because if you did, then why would you be cool with her even considering another man? Doesn't work that way and trust me she notices.

 

All of your problems stem from your inability to stick up for yourself. This is a self esteem problem and is gonna take a lot of time and reasoning it out to fix. But one thing to make sure to understand, the way you're doing it by hanging around in the background is gonna lead to her dropping you for good 100% positive.

 

Come clean with her, tell her you only want a monogamous relationship with her. If she's not on board, then you know she's not serious about you and at that point you should tell her to stay out of touch there's really nothing left to say to each other ever again and hanging around in the background does not work. It's a method only filled with false hope and a broken heart.

[friscodj]

Welcome to ENA justaluvr! Great to have you among us.

 

People change a lot during high school and change a lot again during college. And once these changes happen there is no going back.

 

I think you are holding onto an illusion of this woman as she was, as you remember her, and as you envision her to be. The reality is she is gone, a different person, and it's best to realize this and move on with your life I think.

 

Andfor the love of God man you're in college and you play football! Don't waste these banner years of your life potentially living like a rock star by staying wrapped up in an illusion! Live the dream instead of living in it!

[jimthzz]

friscodj,

 

Well put!