emotions: fake it till you make it ... absolutely works!

[heyduh]

I'm a big big proponent of going back out into the dating world as soon as possible after the end of your LTR. this is easy for dumpers to do because it is very likely that they "checked out" of the relationship many months before.

 

for dumpees the problem is that they get so caught up in emotions like sadness, depression, self loathing, etc etc etc ... worst of all, low self - esteem ...

 

let's face it, our worth as men and women lies so much more in our sexual strenght. we can be super successful businessmen, politicians or other professionals, but nothing can bring us crashing down as romantic/sexual rejection.

 

the only way to boost this back up is ... well, small successes. and the only way you are going to get back your bruised sexual self-esteem is to get back out there into the dating world ... and have some small victories ... i'm not talking getting back into another LTR ... far from it ... but i do suggest casual dating ... putting yourself back out there .. being flirty, making out, getting phone numbers .. up to you if you want to take it further .. haha ... but there is NO harm to anyone in getting back out there and having small romances.

 

but how can you possibly do that when you are in a state of depression, sadness, betrayal, and all those negative emotions you feel???

 

you gotta fake it, till you make it. i'm not kidding. your emotions are tied to your physiology ... you need to make a conscious decision to "act" happy, confident, cheerful, sexual, etc etc.... do this, really force yourself to walk, talk, stand, sit, run, breathe, move like a happy, confident and cheeerful person for just 5 days and you'll see a complete turnaround in your life.

 

i spent many months early this year wallowing in my own self pity .. and then i started trying to understand what i did that caused me to bein the situation i am in (see my signature for some books that helped me understand the essense of being a man .. hehe)

 

and i read some more about depression, anxiety, etc etc .. there are many techniques out there ... thanks to my trusty p2p software i was able to download for *free* many workshop manuals, audio and video tapes .. particularly useful was anthony/tony robbins stuff .. he really teaches how to change your emotional state by conscious (but simple) physical effort ..

 

btw, tony robbins is the guy that helped andre aggassi a few yrs ago come back from outside top 100 to break top 10 in less than a year

 

so what i'm suggesting to all of you guys and girls here trying to cope. if you keep "trying to cope, or trying to heal" that's all you'll be doing for many months ... you need to get out of the "trying to deal with my pain" mindset ... force yourself out of it!!

 

the first couple of months after my breakup, i stopped even getting early morning hrd-on.. (lol!) .. i was so depressed. so, like i said, first i took a good hard look at myself and my relationship .. and then i made a decision to get myself out of the rut ... now i'm dating a couple of ladies (casually, bothof them know where i stand on this so i am not playing anyone) .. and enjoying the time of my life .. horny as ever

 

do i still think about my ex?! sure! in fact last week i dreamt of her every night ... but do those memories bother me anymore? no way!!! i can look back and smile for the wonderful two+ years we had together

 

a good lady friend of mine is going through an even more traumatic breakup (her relationship was about 5 yrs) .. she met her doctor and was considering getting on antidepression pills ... i said BS to that crap .. and i literally forced her to get out of the house so we can go hit our social circles "on the prowl" .. hehehe .. it took a couple of times, but after that she tells me it was the best thing ever !! i forced her out of her miserable state, if you don't have a friend who can do that for you, then you need to do that for yourself!!

 

PS .. i ain't advertising anything, i'm in fact giving you info how to illegally get these expensive workshops/books and manuals for free through p2p networks (don't msg me, just do a freakin search on google)

[heyduh]

oh another useful thing that might work for many of you is the EFT .. or emotional freedom technique (google it)

 

it seems silly and corny, but apparently it works! i didn't really try it but there seems to be a LOT of positive feedback about EFT

 

there is also a manual downloadable for FREE .. search on google