21 and shy around girl

[goghan]

College started 2 weeks ago, and I really like this girl. She lives in my building and she's in two of my classes, but I haven't talked to her until tonight. She said we should party together before I left, so i guess thats a good sign, and when I pass her, she'll smile and say hi. I know she thinks I'm really nice, but that's all I know. Help? I guess. I don't know how I should approach things.

[socks1w]

Whats to approach,she is obviously into u.Just go with it and see how it works out.GoodLuck

[nunya]

oh my god! just get over your shyness...the world doesn't appreciate shy people...I'm sure she would like you if you let her get to know you.

[stopit]

Things are looking good! I agree with RabidGreenEyedWolf: you don't need an approach if everything's already laid out! Over the next few days don't shy away and distance yourself from her and send her all the wrong signals. For some shy people that's the instinct they follow; don't know if that's what you tend to do. When she approaches you, act warm and welcoming as I'm sure you already are to her. Likewise, don't be afraid of approaching her and initiating the conversation.

[goghan]

Thanks guys. I asked her out to lunch yesterday and she said yes! It was really nice, but i didn't really get to talk to her one on one cuz her friends came along? Maybe a bad sign I dunno. I wanna ask her to the movies this weekend, but too forward? One of my girl friends that is friends with her told me that she has a bf, but she really doesn't like him because he treats her like and is abusive, so I really don't feel bad if I "steal" her. she deserves someone who treats her better.

[socks1w]

Well if she has a bf that treats her bad u should defianately not "steal" her,cause that wouldnt be good if her "abusive" bf found out and hurt her even more.But asking her to the movies as a friend isnt a bad idea,as long as its nothing more than a friend date until she is no longer going out w/ her bf.

 

RGEW

[stopit]

If she's with anyone, I wouldn't make a move on her. If she's with someone abusive, that's all the more reason to back away. She's obviously got some things to work out with herself in her life if she's taking that, and she needs to "process" (a word most guys hate, but hey, we gals need time!) all of this. You can't just rebound from an abusive relationship into another one and expect her to be ready for it. Unless she's just having a relationship with him that's based more on fun than anything, she's going to have to sort out a few things before she's on the market again, even if she's single.

 

The best thing you can do right now is just hang in there and be as supportive as possible. Be patient, don't make any advances, and just be a great guy friend to her. Don't let the fact that you know she's with a jerk change the way you treat her - she doesn't need pity or consolations. If the topic comes up for whatever reason, treat it as you normally would; be yourself but don't press on her to break it off because you want to be with her but because you're concerned about her well being. It's a very subtle distinction, though it can prove to be highly important!

 

But one thing I have to ask, if she's taken, then why would she say that you guys should party sometime? Are you sure she didn't mean it in a platonic sort of way? Are you sure she doesn't just smile to everyone she sees? And if she's actually into you and makes a move in the future yet you know she is with someone else, is that someone you want to be with?