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talk deep; but how?


DaZednCoNfUzEd
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Im having trouble coming up with things to talk about to my boyfrien or jus any one , I mean i talk about my day an how his day went but i cant seem to break the silence without him. I say "random" things like 'ow i stubbed my toe' then he says 'man i hate when i do that, i remember when...' We really dont jus "sit there" we talk..but not really about anything as mch as i would like.. I dont knoe if its b.c im only 16 and havent experienced as much but thats seems like a cop out, every 1 should be able to talk about SOMETHINGS..ANYTHING.. i dunno...i dont really consider myself to be boring all the time..i need some new material..not politics..even tho i know nothing about them, i jus want to have real conversations with him...like wen were driving in the car together...u get the point..sos

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Well first off, you are going to need to find something you are both interested in or things that you feel strongly about. The other day I had a great conversation with my girl about the death penalty. Before that we talked about abortion/adoption, stuff like that, where as I learned a good deal about her upbringing (I found out she was adopted), and how that strongly influences somebody's points of views. And they don't even have to be topics like that. yeah, eventually somebody's childhood history runs out and you need different things to talk about, lol...so, have any passions you would like to talk with him about?

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Whenever one of you brings up a little anecdote, try to expand on it by asking deeper questions. It might seem unnatural at first, but it'll get less awkward as time goes on. If he tells you about a time he stubbed his toe and he mentions some detail that catches your attention, like if he tells you the time he stubbed his toe resulted from his alcoholic uncle whamming a hammer into his foot, then there's potential there for discussion on his past or alcoholism, etc.

 

I hate that feeling when you seem to have dead conversations with everyone no matter what you talk about and no matter who you talk to, but if you "spice things up" it gets easier to have meaningful talks. For me it tends to result from mental constipation or mental catatonia, both of which are eased to a certain extent by writing in a journal. I know it seems lame if you don't keep one already, but it helps you articulate your ideas.

 

If your conversations with him in particular seem limp, then go outside the routine and do something exciting together. Common experiences always lead to great discussions. Instead of leading the questions to purposefully get somewhere meaningful, just let it happen on its own accord. If it gets unbearable, then watch the news together and commentate on the reports. And as a last resort, read a book outside of class and discuss its deeper meaning together.

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