Alcoholism

[kamurj]

I'm am 23 years old and while my problem may seem miner to some, it is huge to me. My boyfriend does not feel he has a drinking problem! I've been with him for over 7 years now and while he has never physically or verbally abused me. I feel like i've been mantally abused. there were times in the relationship were he would kick me out of his house for no reason and I would cry my eyes out(and he didn't care--yes, he was drunk). Now that we are much older, he regrets the things he's done to me, but doesn't realize that I've been affected permenantly by it(and continues drinking). Even though he doesn't drink on a regular bases, I still feel he has a problem because he can't go one weekend (Fri, and SaT) without getting drunk. I've tried to tell him how much that bothers me and he seems to not understand. I need help. Help me! what should I do? How should I go about telling him he has a problem? I don't want to leave him, but lately I've been feeling like that's what I need to do so he can take me serious. I'm so hurt by this, disgusted by his behavior, and sick of it!

[Petite Love]

Alcohol seems to be the main problem in this situration, first ask your boyfriend to get help over his drinking problem, next get couple councelling to help you cope with past pains.

 

If he doesn't agreed to get help and if he continues hurting you. Leave him and stay with a relative, friend, or parents, you don't have to take abuse from anyone, every woman deserve better than being hit and hurt.

 

I really hope you get him to stop drinking.

G'luck

 

[kamurj]

Hoping that someone stops drinking just is not going to help at all. Things are only going to get worse unless something drastic is done. Perhaps talk to other family and friends of the drunk and see if you can perform an intervention. Arguing and one on one discussion does not work on an alcoholic. If you get a bunch of people together that the alcoholic respects and show him that everyone knows about his behavior and that he needs help, perhaps you can get him to go for treatment. I think this needs to be done in a planned, very non-judgemental way so that the alcoholic does not feel threatened. A lot of success can be achieved this way. Just don't give up hope

 

I wish you the best

kristofv

[guilt_catharsis]

I agree with the previous post that an intervention is needed; but, even then, you have to be willing to accept that he might not be willing to see and deal with his problem... The ONLY person you can change is YOURSELF; and, the best way to do that is by educating yourself about what you're up against in this relationship. The best way to do this is by going to Al-Anon and to open AA meetings. When dealing with alcoholics, things are often not only difficult but "backwards," as well. "Enabling" them can be the worst thing you can do "for" an alcoholic, since it only helps them to perpetuate their denial. Helping "their bottom" to conk them right between the eyes, while they still have some semblence of a life left, can be the kindest thing you can do for them, even though they'll probably hate you for it at the time...

The best of luck to -- if you stay in this relationship, you're gonna' need it.....

[spaggle]

right..first off.....i dont think he has a drinking problem anymore. I think its more you that has this insecurity about him drinking, its his choice not yours, and its only the weekend. its understandable if u were annoyed coz of him drinking every other day or something.....unfortunatley thts what i do, and im only 17..i am cutting down tho, but yes...i think its more you being insecure about what has happened.