Girlfriend of 3 years left me due to sexual breakdown

[macman]

My girlfrined left me a few days back due to the fact that she says she longer fancies me in a sexual way and that I am more "like a brother to her" and she has no sexual desire towards me anymore (no intimate contact in the last 3 months really). She says she feels guilt being around me as she cannot be a "proper girlfriend".

 

There has been a lot of stress in our lives in the past year (family, a death in her family problems, my ex-wife, money, you name it) and I know this has all taken its toll on her.

 

She is 24 and Im 33 and since we moved into this house together a year ago (as a temporary measure as I get my new business running), we lived a pretty solitudal life as I make a living from the internet and shes a writer and we spent most of time together in the house. I was totally happy with working together and still fancied her 100% as a result, but she lost that desire so she says.

 

She has had anxiety and depression problems partly as a result of the stress over the last year and I feel sick that I didnt get an office and move my business out earlier to save this relationship.

 

She moved out saying she "needs time to get better mentally and think of herself for a while and then we will see how it goes". I am devestated as I thought I may marry her in years to come. She was everything I was looking for.

 

What does a guy do when a woman says she no longer fancies you but i still fancy her 100%? I wanted her to stick through the rough times now and appreciate the smooth later on which looking back possibly seems all I was focused on...

 

Do I wait and give her time or do I get on with my life and learn?

[babycristy456]

She is going through anxiety and depression which is something that is alot for her to deal with. It may have to do with her not fancying you anymore. When you are depressed, you lose interest in the things you once liked to do.

 

If time is what she wants, then give it to her. And yes, move on with your life, but that doesn't mean you have to find someone new right away or anything. It just means what it says...Move on with your life. Don't let this stop you from doing things you normally do.

 

If you feel like you want to wait for her, then do, but don't wait around forever either. Maybe if she treats her depression and gets well, she might want to come back.

 

GOod luck and hope I helped

[macman]

thanks babycristy456, youre advice was a great help. What a kind person you are taking the time to offer help with other peoples "problems".

[macman]

As Ive been thinking over the response from baby cristy and all the other posts here let alone my own thoughts of course, I have one major question to do with the following paragraph from babycristy's post:

 

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If time is what she wants, then give it to her. And yes, move on with your life, but that doesn't mean you have to find someone new right away or anything. It just means what it says...Move on with your life. Don't let this stop you from doing things you normally do.

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You see it's the moving on that i cant force myself to do right now. I dont want to ring her to "talk it out" as some closure posts in this forum seem to receommend as that might put her under pressure and worsen her "healing" from depression/anxiety let alone potentially force her into the answer I might not want to hear.

 

I am waiting for her to call/sms me every day and when she does sms me every few days or so its keeping me hanging on wishing. Its killing me as I dont know whether her getting better will automatically make her in a positon to re-consider us or if thats just what im hoping.

 

I cant see it clearly as a standard break up as her ilness is clouding the water or perhaps shes hiding behind it... She says she is getting better with each day she is away in her home town with her friends and folks and Im just waiting for the day she calls to say shes ready to try again with new rules or come home.

 

Finally what makes matters even worse is she did a similar thing 3 months back when she "went home for a break" as she needed time to think but didn't move her stuff out like she did this time. She returned 3 weeks down the line the last time but I couldnt change the things that she didnt like about our situation (financial stress, job, friends, family problems) and she became ill again and thats what she says led her away again this second time.

 

Its been about 10 days and I remember last time it was getting easier after about 3 weeks before she came back. I love the girl and want to be with her, but the pain of this is killing me but I feel I must be simpathetic to her problems....