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Where do you put the hope


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I'm on the very definition - if there can be one - of endlessly hopeful.


I just can't bring myself to the reconcilliation that we will actually get a divorce. All the steps are there. I'm taking them, I know, because I feel my knees tremble more with each one. But I had never even entertained the idea that one day -and now one day soon- I won't be his wife anymore. I always knew that we would survive. He was all I knew, all I loved and all I wanted.


Now, I try to tell myself that changes can be good; that maybe we really weren't meant to be after all - after 19 years. But I'm having the hardest time of placing the left-over hope. It just seems to sink to the depths of me and sit there aching for him to wake me up from this nightmare and tell me that it's going to be okay.


Where do I put the hope?

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