Need Imediate Help

[Vash]

my g/f said to day when we were talking that she wasnt exactly thrilled. the thoughts that went through my head almost had me tearing right then. she alos told me that i got her through a hard part in her life though. i want her to be happy but i also dont want to leave her and dont want her to leave me its so damn hard not to tear up thinking about us breaking up. i want to make her happy but still be with her will someone who knows what they are talking about please help me

[hurtinbad]

Did you ask her what she meant by saying that she wasn't thrilled? Was she talking about your relationship? You should feel happy that you helped her through her hard times, i'm sure she's really grateful that you were there for her. To me it sounds like her feelings for you are more of a best friend than a lover. Which is her mistake. You need to sit down and have a talk with her about this, so you understand better.

[Seraph]

I hear ya, man. I was in a very similar situation a few weeks ago. I was helpful. But being helpful as a friend ... or being helpful as more? eh. well.

Anyways, I think your intentions are clear to you. You want what's best for her because you care about her more than anything. And I know that deep down you would rather see her out having a good time than sitting at home being miserable or what not.

 

Breaking up is hard. But you care about her, so you should be there for her as a friend. Maybe she'll realize how much you really do care and snap to her senses, who knows. Be very happy and proud that you got her through a tough period in her life.

 

I'm not sure if I know what I'm talking about, but I hope this helps.

[Vash]

both of you helped me out pretty well but i still want people to pose on this so if you read this you can still post and i will still read

[segagirl]

Sounds like you need to find out what will "thrill" her, sometimes relationships hit tough spots, but its the time when we should work our hardest at it....thats what long term commitment really is....Be sure you tell her you want to make her happy, and start doing new things, taking her new places.....being romantic, the random cards...flowers....show her how special you think she is....and most of all...be sure the two of you have fun!

[zerohour]

Vash,

 

I've been in a similar spot. It's heart-wernching, I know. The exact line I got was "I don't feel the way I should in a relationship." Basically meaning that she didn't feel the way she used to about me. And after that, I was unable to have a "good" conversation with her. I built up anger about her losing interest, and it definitely came accross in my conversations with her. Very shortly thereafter, I got desperate and somewhat "clingy" (despite being really upset with her), and it didn't take but a week for her to deside that she "needed some time away from relationships" for a while.

 

I don't want to scare you into thinking that a breakup is inevitable, but if she's to the point where she's telling you she isn't thrilled, there are two possibilities: 1) she's letting you know now in hopes that you will somehow rectify the situation and quell her dissatisfaction, or 2) she has pretty much lost interest, and is trying to "lead up" to the breakup by telling you this now.

 

I can honestly say that the worst thing for you to do right now is to become uber-clingy and needy. I know you care about her a ton and are completely confused as to why she has lost interest, but don't let that scare you. When you get scared, you get desperate, and that's unattractive, and I promise will lead to a breakup. I think your best bet would be to take it in stride, and, in fact, to back off for a while. Don't call her very much, be as content as possible (just ACT content if you can't actually feel that way!), and don't think too much about it. The more of a big deal you make out of it, the more of an issue it will become, and the more likely she will act on her feelings by breaking up with you.

 

Back off. Give her space. Don't smother her. Act like you're content. You'll quickly see where she stands.

 

Best of luck!

 

-Zer0

[Genesis]

The most atractive thing that a man can do is to be collected in a time of crisis.

 

Trust me many people make the mistake of chasing their gf/bf down too much and they end up just running away.

 

Woman want what they can not have sometimes.

 

Your girlfriend may be ready to have time to herself to be with friends or to date other guys.

 

How old are you?

 

Maybe you may not be ready for such a long term commitment at your age.

 

Well the best thing you can do is to give her space while continuing to be charming and kind.

 

Let her know that you love her and then just do not sweat her so much!

 

Good Luck

 

Play hard to get , but not too hard!!!