RelaxByWater84 Posted August 10, 2006 Share Posted August 10, 2006 I am having trouble with my mother. I have always been an individualist and do things my way. My mom does things her way and thinks its the best way. And she always tries to help me but I see it as getting in the way. I really want to get along with her but I don't see how I can. Advice Please. TIA. Link to comment
nottoogreen Posted August 10, 2006 Share Posted August 10, 2006 Hi CoffeeGirl, Sounds like friction between two individualists due to lack of communication. Do you sit down together sometimes to talk? Could you please be specific on subjects? How is she with dad? Link to comment
RelaxByWater84 Posted August 10, 2006 Author Share Posted August 10, 2006 Things like cleaning my room I have specific spots where I put my things and she comes in and tries to help me and upset the balance in my room by insisting that I should have things in another spot. And when I am doing my laundry she wants to do and ends up putting it on a cycle that it shouldn't be and what not. As for sitting and talking not a good idea cuz she points out all my faults and never says she has any. She and dad are fine, dad and i are fine. Link to comment
nottoogreen Posted August 10, 2006 Share Posted August 10, 2006 Ohh, I feel with you, she is not busy enough and likes to micromanage. But why she messes up the laundry which IMHO does not fit together. Is she agitated when she messes up the laundry? See: link removed and let us know what you think. Link to comment
RelaxByWater84 Posted August 11, 2006 Author Share Posted August 11, 2006 I noticed that my mom is more detail oriented while I am more big picture oriented. If something looks clean then I assume its clean. My mom picks out little things that need cleaned and being that we are a pastor's family she is always worried how things look to the congregation. Link to comment
nottoogreen Posted August 11, 2006 Share Posted August 11, 2006 OK, I would think she is detail oriented and you not being her explains a bit of friction between the two of you. But why does she mess up the laundry? Does she mess other things up, misplace things? Is she easily agitated? Link to comment
BrokenWingedFaery Posted August 12, 2006 Share Posted August 12, 2006 nottoogreen, I think you're barking up the wrong tree here. I doubt her mother is having any kind of problem, aside from thinking she's always right. Link to comment
nottoogreen Posted August 12, 2006 Share Posted August 12, 2006 nottoogreen, I think you're barking up the wrong tree here. I doubt her mother is having any kind of problem, aside from thinking she's always right. Thank you. I hope so in a way. But I listen carefully and consider the details in order to..... Guess we have to wait for the OP to enlighten us further. Link to comment
coollady1957 Posted August 12, 2006 Share Posted August 12, 2006 Has your mom always been this way? Or is this a recent thing with you and her that is going on ? Also what is your moms age ? I am just trying to get a bit more info and hope that you will be able to elaborate a bit more on this. Link to comment
Spugly Fuglet Posted August 13, 2006 Share Posted August 13, 2006 I am having trouble with my mother. I have always been an individualist and do things my way. My mom does things her way and thinks its the best way. And she always tries to help me but I see it as getting in the way. I really want to get along with her but I don't see how I can. Advice Please. TIA. I can see it can you, You are very like your mother, your an individualist just like her, she still sees you as the child she held the day you where born, the girl who cut her salf, the trubeled teen looking to mark out who she is in this world. She as yet to see you as a woman who can make her own way and that will only come with time and her expereanceing you doing that. But for now see who much alike you are and love her for that, if she pushins into your life that which she feels is right and you thinks is wrong then be farm but no harsh. I found that asking advice about things is a good way to alow pareings input into your life but then it gives you that chance to say no to that advice. It gives you chouse Link to comment
RelaxByWater84 Posted August 27, 2006 Author Share Posted August 27, 2006 My mom has always been this way. I found out after I wrote this that she was abused by her mom and that she found cleaning to be thereputic. The reason my mom didn't tell me until she thought it was a good time so I didn't fear being hurt by her. I know she has forgiven her mom for that but I'm wondering if there are still times that she thinks about it and since my room is usually messy she wants to clean it to help her out. I'm thinking now that I was the selfish one for insisting things being my way instead of being an understanding daughter. Sorry it took so long but I was home from school when I wrote about it and it was on dial-up connection and dad needed it for his job so I couldn't write back as I would have liked and then with moving back preparations all this got put on the back burner. Link to comment
nottoogreen Posted August 27, 2006 Share Posted August 27, 2006 Thank you for your feedback! I got hung on that messed up laundry. Guess she was agitated (internally). Good she talked to you about it which is of therapeutic value to her and you. And please do not think you are selfish for aranging your home (room) your way. It's your privilege! I wish you continued good com's with your mom. Link to comment
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