Newbie saying hello

[Psyche06]

Hi all...I'm new here. Just emerging from the clouds of dust and heaps of tissues after my ex left without a word or a backward glance 12 days ago. I've sent far too many pathetic emails (our relationship began online between two countries...he moved here..but then left after a month) and the last one I sent yesterday was a bit more angry...but I know he won't reply...and I know I need to stop attempting to connect and interact with him...only then can I properly let go. So I guess this is the first day of my No Contact and it feels very scary and very final...

 

There is so much positivity and support here, the few threads I've read so far have been so helpful...I hope I can contribute here as well as taking support.

 

Brave face! DON'T CHECK THAT HOTMAIL ACCOUNT...AGAIN! ](*,)

[salmonhead_uk]

Hey sweetheart,

I'm a newbie in that I haven't been here in a year. but this really helped me the first time round. Just keep talking about it, do things for yourself, and be prepared to have some rough times. We all do. Dont question it, just realise you will feel like hell.

 

I found no contact worked with my past ex - i never spoke to him again and it wouldn't bother me to see him now.

 

But the current ex, well, on top of the hell i had last year moving on, he's really hurt me, i guess is a nasty person. Doesn't see why we shouldn't contact each other once ever month, but only if he's bored and only if he wants money or attention. See my post: unfortunately i have to meet him to sort money and i really dont want to. It's the last thing I want to do. I can't lose myself in his rubbish again and I will. Getting better and better and then he calls and i feel like hell.

 

Just stay the hell away. Trust me.

xxxx

[lilac_indi]

hey

 

i am glad that you are going nc - its the best method for healing believe me. the fact that you kept contacting him at first, it probably gave him an ego boost to be honest with you and thats the last thing you want. you dont want to potray yourself as being desperate. maintain nc and you will do great.

 

i contacted my ex non-stop on the day of the split and it made me fall in my own eyes. i noticed however that when i started to do nc it was him that was doing all the contact! that gave me immense satisfaction lol. just be strong and stick to your guns.

[Psyche06]

Thanks to both of you for posting a reply, it's much appreciated. Hang in there Salmonhead...and thanks for your reply.

 

Lilac...yes you are right about NC, it has to be the way to go. Because our relationship was based so long around emails, msn and phone it is very much a behavioural habit that I'm breaking...even though he's broken up with me I still expect the emails etc...stupid I know...but at least I can see the pattern in my behaviour. I've learnt that people can make a lot of grand romantic promises and then spectacularly fail to deliver when they finally appear in reality...I thought I was wiser than than that but I got seduced by the romantic ideal and spiritual/karmic/meant to be junk....](*,)

 

Everytime I go to my computer to see if the selfish a**hole has condescended to email me I shall check in here instead...it's the beginning of a plan!

[RayKay]

Welcome Pysche, I just wish it was better circumstances that brought you here (unfortunately....people tend to come here when they aren't great in most cases...!).

 

Don't worry too much about what you did at first with the emails and so on, can't change it now, and well, it's pretty normal for someone to have done so at SOME point in their life! Just from now on in....be strong and realize that there tend to be a lot of people here to urge you to stick to NC whenever you feel a bit weak....and are debating clicking that "send" button!